Friday, August 26, 2005

WHY did you let me hit you from behind?!

So, on the way to work today I was violated. I was tagged in the ass, without the common decency of a reach-around. I was forced into a situation that I did not want to be in. Me and my car are now edgy and stressed…we were attacked.

It was raining. The roads were slick. The bitch was driving too fast. She was not in control of her vehicle. She came up on my rear bumper and tailgated me. She then slammed into me.

Whoa is me.

My chi is all sorts of fucked up. My car’s chi is all sorts of fucked up. My stress level is high, and my emotions are out of control: anger, sadness, confusion, anger, fear, annoyance. They run through me like the winds through the trees, like the water through the grass, like the burrito through the colon.

I have been rear-ended. My shoulders and neck hurt. My head hurts. My chi is fucked up.

I’m going home. I’m going to go home and drink some tea, read a book, and relax. I will be in control of my world again. I will control my emotions. I will not think about the bitch that hit me and I will most certainly not think about punching her in the face repeatedly until she loses consciousness and begs for mercy. I will calm. I will be at peace. I will not wonder what it’s like to take a human being and shove them into a lunch-box with a shoe horn.

I’m going home. I will tell you the story on Monday. I hope everybody has a good weekend, and forgive me for the cliffhanger. I just don’t have the energy right now.

Bunny.

19 comments:

Crystal said...

It's amazing how a wreck (of any magnitude) can be frightening and stressful. I've been there. Take deep breaths. It'll be okay.

Kay said...

I'm sorry shu. Wrecks do suck. Just rest assured that if you don't get back to normalness... You exchanged info with herbitchiness, so you can still go beat her ass up for fuckin with yer chi...

Canuck Girl said...

Take some time to centre yourself (and have your car do it too) and take supreme pleasure in the fact that some people are just ignorant assholes and karma will bite them in the ass someday...probably someday soon.

HighMaintenanceHussy said...

Hope you feel better...may the lord bless with vicodin, if need be.

Ms. Adventures said...

Aw so sorry that happened! Hope you feel better! I bet someone would come over and suck your troubles away? You know lots of people :)

Spinning Girl said...

$50 says she was on her cell phone.

When I have a bad day, I lie on the floor with an ice pack on my face. try it.

Heather said...

I got rear ended once.. the chica dropped her cigarette and was looking for.. rammed right into me going 55 mph.. I hope you're ok.. I hope your chi gets better.. I hope you get a new car outta the deal :)

znxhbod

*~**E**~* said...

Hope things get better - At least you got the occasion to quote Dane Cook :)

Bashful Blue said...

Sorry to hear about your car. Hope you feel better soon. Here's to a good weekend...it can only get better from here. Right?

g_samsa said...

Hey, You and your chi need to get a neck brace and crutches and sue! Wouldn't that be such a sitcom moment?

Crystal said...

How about this one:
I once got rear-ended while I was sitting at a stop sign because the guy was looking at his pictures he had JUST TAKEN at the wreck HE HAD JUST BEEN IN! He begged me to not call the cops and after looking at my car and realizing it was okay I took his $100.00 bill and my best friend and I had a great meal & movie.

Anamika Anyone said...

so sorry,shanshu..
You rest,you've earned it.

Danius Maximus said...

remember america exists on the cheap litigation that comes from this kind of thing

l'il bear said...

Man, I hate to laugh at your misfortune, but you have a way with words that is so amusingly poetic.

But if you want, I'll dress up like a ninja and take that bitch out with nunchucks, whack her in the skull a couple times to make her feel your pain.

big hugs for you and your car.

B.O.B.I. said...

I can't offer to go all ninjutsu and flying nunchakus o' spinning death for you, Shan, but I can offer you this:
Picture a green pasture. There are wildflowers, tameflowers, bunnies, deer, plenty of sun and not a cloud in the sky. The barest hint of a breeze keeps everything at the perfect temperature. It is the best place and the best time to enjoy nature.

Plus you're doing the hottest woman you've ever seen.

Feel better?

bobisoft2k5
*********
pwyme

Pwyme: The state of matter between liquid and gas, i.e., "The burrito was solid hamburger, but my stomach liquefied it. It was them pwymed by my intestines and my colon completed the process, releasing the resultant gas soon thereafter."

Carrie said...

a ha...you got tagged! it sucks, but it's fun! tell me u REALLY don't like the attention...come on now, everyone wants a bit o..ya know

da buttah said...

i hope he fuckin kicked the taggers ass!

Justin said...

I'm only in Kansas for one more week before Guam (then I'm back in a month). So, if you want I should break the other driver's right foot, you should give the order now.

I have reasonable rates, and I lower them for blogging friends!

-Justin

Oh, for any law enforcement that reads this, this is a pratical joke. If the driver in question turns up with a broken foot, this is what we like to call a "coincidence." This is a dead end lead, a red herring.

brewsmith said...

You have been violated!! I think you car may have taken the worst of it. . . makes you with you were driving a big truck, up slightly higher then traffic, with a large tow hitch sticking out the rear, which now would have been pushed into the radiator of the car that hit yours!! Sucks, sorry it happened!