Friday, April 20, 2007

The "Fuck You" of the Week

This guy is my new hero. Apparantly, Verizon Wireless quoted him a price of .002 CENTS per each kilobyte of wireless usage while in Canada. They charged him .002 DOLLARS, instead. Obviously the dollar amount is correct, but the fact that Verizon REFUSES to admit a difference between dollars and cents is.....FUCKING HILARIOUS.

So listen to the video below. It's his actual call into Verizon to clarify the situaion and explain simple math to them. It's priceless.

THEN check out the picture below. It's his payment to Verizon after all this crap is over with. Be sure to read the memo.


Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Cabin Air Filters and Bullshit

So, I took my car in for an oil change the other day. Nothing special, just your everyday, run-of-the-mill* oil change service appointment. I am usually not particular about where I get my oil changed, so usually it's just random where I end up going. For this particular time, it was Jiffylube.

I took my car in, and sat in the waiting room watching women's downhill skiing on the complementary TV. Besides the fact that we were watching women's downhill skiing, the other thing that sucked complete ass was the fact that the waiting room was colder than...than the snow that you use to ski downhill, like in women's downhill skiing for instance.

Cold and obscure sporting events aside, the wait wasn't long so that was good. Soon I had one of the grease-laden Jiffy employees coming to greet me in the waiting room of ice. I noticed that he was carrying an air filter under his arm as he sat down beside me.

Oh, shit.

JiffyBoy: Hey there, guy. Just wanted to let you know that the oil change looks good, and your car is doing fine.

Me: Well, that's good. We were all worried. How's she feeling after the procedure?

JiffyBoy: Uh...fine. You have a Honda, and those cars are built not to need maintenance. Besides the oil change, there's not much else we have to do!

Me: Yeah, well I'm sure you'll think of something.

JiffyBoy: Your air filter looks good, so we don't need to change that.

Me: Really? You oil change places always try to get me to replace my air filter! Are you sure it doesn't need to be replaced? Are you feeling ok?

JiffyBoy: No, no. The air filter is fine.

Me: So...why are you holding one?

JiffyBoy: Oh, this is your cabin air filter. And as you can see, it's dirty.

Me: Eh? My what?

JiffyBoy: Your cabin air filter. It's dirty.

Me: You lost me. What's a cabin air filter?

JiffyBoy: It's the air filter for your cabin.

Me: My cabin? You mean the thing at the front of airplanes?

JiffyBoy: Yeah, except this cabin is for your car.

Me: "cabin" you are referring to the inside of my car?

JiffyBoy: Yes. Anyway, your cabin filter is dirty, so we can go ahead and replace that for you.

Me: Ahh that sounds more like the JiffyLube I've come to know. Now we're back to normalcy. No, I don't need my interior car air filter replaced, thanks.

JiffyBoy: It's a CABIN air filter, and it should be replaced. It's important to your breathing.

Me: My breathing? It filters the air INSIDE my cabin, correct?

JiffyBoy: Exactly!

Me: So, would you say it's safe to say that this air filter device helps to screen out the negative particles in the air that is present within my car interior?

JiffyBoy: It's a CABIN, but yes that about sums it up.

Me: So, we can therefore state that the air filter in question is filtering the air that comes into my car from the outside? You're saying this helps to filter the outside air that travels into the comfort of my driving cabin.

JiffyBoy: Yes!

Me: That's stupid.

JiffyBoy: What?

Me: That's stupid. You can't filter the "outside" air. That's just...air! You can't filter regular air. It's not like the air filter is going to save me from smog or smoke or pollen. The second I open my car door, I'm breathing it in again.

JiffyBoy: Yes, but while you're driving you'll be breathing better. Trust me, it makes sense and you want to do this. It's only $31.99 to replace it.

Me: No. Go away.

JiffyBoy: But...

Me: No, no. I don't want it. I like to breathe air. It's been good to me, and we've been together since I was a baby. I like it just the way it is. Please don't take away my childhood.

JiffyBoy: Fine. But if you stop breathing one day, it'll be the air filter being dirty that kills you.

Me: Noted.

Needless to say, I did not purchase the $32 "cabin air filter" that they suggested. I called up some friends and nobody else had ever heard of a cabin air filter, either. So I'm not just stupid or ignorant of a car's inner workings.

It was just lame. If this happens to you, be strong and JUST SAY NO TO CABIN AIR FILTERS!

*What the hell does "run-of-the-mill" mean,anyway? Where did we get that saying?

Thursday, April 12, 2007

This Sucks

You know, for a long time I've day-dreamed about what it would be like to NOT have to go into the office day after day. I would sit in my cubicle and imagine how great it would be if I could just leave the office and go play. I would think about playing golf or shopping or going out to eat with friends and family. I thought about all of the projects I would get done, and how much fun it would be to be outside and enjoying the world around me.

Yet here I sit.

The fucking weather is not cooperating with my time off work plans. Everyday it has been cold and rainy and cloudy and depressing. I've found myself cooped up in my apartment with no real plans and nothing exciting to do.

Good thing I have the Wii to keep me occupied. But even that starts to get old, after a while. I find myself being BORED while I'm off work and that just sickens me. I can't believe I finally got my dream of having time off work...and I have nothing to show for it.

This fucking sucks.

What kind of things should I do to occupy my time? Any thoughts?

Monday, April 09, 2007

Wii Tennis

The Nintendo Wii is TOO much fun.


Monday, April 02, 2007