Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Spammers. Must. Die.

What the fuck is up lately with these stupid spammers? I'm getting sick and tired of coming onto my blog and finding a post with 20 comments on it from spam blogging bastards. "Hey, great site! I am going to bookmark this one, for sure! I have a Ceiling Fan Blade Site. It's pretty much a site about ceiling fan blades. Come check it out!"

Screw off.

As if my life wasn't filled with enough crap? As if my email inbox wasn't already full of this spam and junk mail plague…now I have to look forward to it on my blog, too. Sonofabitch. I’d love to meet the asshole who started this trend, and punch him in the throat for coming up with such a horrible idea.

I even got an IM yesterday from a spammer. An instant message from spam. I couldn’t believe it. I actually got an IM from a fucking spammer…isn’t that one of the signs of the apocalypse? I’m pretty sure it is. I would grab my Bible and look it up, but I can’t find it under the gargantuan pile of junk mail sitting on my desk.

I had 10 spam comments on my post yesterday. TEN. Apparently, they’ve decided that I am in desperate need for marketing assistance. I guess The Man has been monitoring my current spending, and is unhappy with the lack of useless crap in my living room. The only answer was to deluge my blogger comments with so many worthless, annoying spam bullshit that I would be brainwashed into purchasing a new pottery set for my back porch in some sort of spammer-induced spending coma.

Pfffffffft.

I hate spam. I hate spam, and junk mail, and telemarketing phone calls. The more I think about it, the more I think I might just hate all marketing. I hate commercials, too. I hate anybody who thinks they are smarter than I am, and that they alone know the perfect combination of eye stimulus and color schemes to make me want to buy a certain kind of power tool, or a particular type of soda. Newsflash you bastards: I see through your crap. I’m on to you. I know your methods and I know how you think.

You will never get a dime from me, you bunny bastards.

Spam no more!!

21 comments:

g_samsa said...

I got spammed into oblivion yesterday myself. i got 8 in a row. I had to put that verification thing on the comment window. i hope it works. Spam is just like junk mail, you're right. You think you have tons of mail and it turns out you just qualified at 15 banks to be screwed up the ass with interest charges. Makes ya feel special huh?

Connie said...

Coming from the guy who advocates Gatorade mixed with Capitan Morgans Spiced Rum. I bet a bunch of your readers ran out and tried that cocktail, thus increasing sales of Gatorade and Captain Morgans. Come on, fess up. How many of you tried the concoction after Shan talked about the lack of hangover the day after he drank that? So ha ha! Shan, and your readers, unknowingly contributed to advertising for the corporate mongers you so despise. And FREE advertising no less. They even have a term for it: word of mouth. They therefore made even more money off of you since they didn't pay you to advertise for them. The Man is good. Everyone eventually succumbs to his power. DAMN THE MAN!!

Connie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Pizzle said...

Dude, I totally feel your pain. Fuck that shit. Sooo frustrating.

On the other hand...making any money off the ads you've placed above your blog?

:p

Spinning Girl said...

I've enlarged my penis so many times now, I came full circle and became a woman.

HighMaintenanceHussy said...

i was getting spammed like a mo-fo (four messages within 5 minutes of posting), so i installed the word verification and i've had nary a spam since.

true story.

it sucks that we gotta do this, but if it keeps me from getting one more e-mail about agent orange, i'm so down.

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drunkbh said...

I was gonna say get the word verification but HMH beat me to it. I feel useless now. BUNNY!

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Pizzle said...

HAHAHAHAHA! Four spams in front of me. Shan's going to be so pissed when he reads his comments in the morning.

It's so rediculously ironic that his spam post got spammed.

Holy bunny that's bunny funny.

Spinning Girl said...

You have very special blog, you make good work! I am very happy to read your blog! I bookmark you for sure! I have a blog called Breast Enhancement that pretty much covers all the breast enhancement stuff. Check it out! ;)

Shanshu said...

Those spamming idiots.
*sigh*

I guess I'll get the word verification, thing. I can't believe it's come to this.

Bunny ridiculous.

Danius Maximus said...

dammit! i just bought some fan blades from that guy!

Anamika Anyone said...

I was about to tell you to relax,breathe,count to 100,and then turn on word verification...
:-)

Rowan said...

you got spammed on IM? Wow, I don't think I've had that happen, so when ya gonna IM MEEEEEE huh? rowan_mayfaire79@yahoo.com (ya know, just in case you forgot or something) k, will get off this bugging trip now.

Crystal said...

it must be some idiotic pimply faced little fucker doing it because no half-way intelligent adult would expect that type of spamming to actually provide sales results!

Crystal said...

btw, why'd you take of the cartoon post? I hope I didn't say something wrong.

JT_Taint said...

hahaha its so funny all these spammers are fucking dieing now with the word verification

die spammers die