Or a zombie?
Be sure to explain your answer.
One of my favorite comedic actors from childhood has passed away, and it's put me into a very somber mood. Don Knotts died this weekend at the age of 81, and there's not much more to say about that part of it.
I'm not going to attempt to write an obituary, or to sum up his career in the appropriate alloted time. I'm not that type of writer. I consider myself to be a comedic writer, and so the best way I can think of to pay my respects to Don would be to focus on how he was able to make me laugh.
We've all seen this show, at least once. This black and white 60's show about a perfect town where nobody swears, sins, or has group sex capivated audiences for years, with one of the best known characters being the bumbling deputy Barney Fife, played by Don Knotts. This show helped Don achieve fame, and it is probably his most well-known role. I'm sure he'll be remembered most from here.
You might not have seen this movie, but I did and I loved it. It's a movie about a guy who turns into a fish and works for the Navy to help out submarines. Not just a fish, mind you...a cartoon fish. He was the first overly patriotic cartoon fish working for the Navy ever, and that's saying something.
One of my favorites. I used to watch this movie all of the time...it was scary and funny and even a little bit sexy. In my opinion, this was one of Don Knotts' best performances. Every scene cracked me up, and I can remember the movie like I just watched it yesterday. It's a movie about a nice quiet town with a dark past: A haunted house where a murder occured. Don Knotts (Mr. Chicken) is a wannabe journalist who is desperate to make his big break. He's so desperate, in fact, that he takes a dare to spend one night in the haunted house and report back to his editor. He takes the job and wackiness ensues. Nobody has ever made me laugh so hard from being so scared. Classic stuff, this movie. Check it out sometime.
Another movie you might not have seen...Don plays a dentist heading west to help "fight oral ignorance". Along the way, he meets up with a gun-weilding bad girl on a mission from the government to stop a bunch of....you know, nevermind. The plot isn't imporant. Just know that Don Knotts is funny, and he's the best dentist-turned-gunfighter around. Another great movie that makes me smile to think of.
Ok, if you haven't seen this movie, there is no comedic hope for you. I grew up watching this movie at least once per week for 27 years. Ok, maybe not that long...but a long time. I loved this movie, and I loved the characters that Don Knotts and Tim Conway played. This comedic duo of belly laughing fun played Amos and Theodore...a couple of would-be thieves with enough brains each to fill a tablespoon. Every single plan they attempted failed miserably, and yet they kept trying. Watching them together made for great entertainment and chuckles galore. Sers'ly, go see this movie. If you don't laugh at least once I'll pay you a dollar.
Ok, that's not true. I don't have any money. But it's still a funny movie and you should see it.
We all know the Herbie movies...we all watched them. This one wasn't the best one I've ever seen, but it was a good one nonetheless. Don plays the (you guessed it) bumbling mechanic for Herbie and hilarity ensued. The movie was ok...but Don was funny as always.
Ah, the year of my birth. This movie is another one that I bet you've never seen or even heard of. That's a damn shame, really. This movie teamed up Don with Tim Conway yet again. This time they are a pair of incompetent and funny Private Detectives working a case of murder in a rich, scary mansion setting. There's lots of hilarious and sometimes scary moments to keep you entertained. I personally loved this movie and watched it often...so often, I still remember certain scenes and quotes from it. Bow down, bitches.
Ah, who can forget the television show that proved that a man can live with two sexy women and not have any group bunny. I didn't think this was possible, but apparantly nobody was having sex in the late 70's. I'm sorry, but if I lived with 2 hot girls there is no way that I wouldn't get a little sandwhich action going within the first month of living there...let alone 7 friggin' years.
But I digress. Don Knotts jumped back into television with his role as Mr. Furley, the landlord with swinger spunk who popped in and made things funny whenever he could. He was WAY better than that other couple who used to play the landlords...way better. Don't you agree? Yes you do. Now go bake me muffins.
Well, that's it. That's my little "Ode to Don Knotts" rememberance post. As you can see, I was a big fan and I'm quite upset that he has passed on and left us. But, just thinking about all of these movies has put a smile on my face...and I'm sure that's what he would have preferred.
We'll miss you, Don. Keep up with the funny wherever you are.
Don Knotts 1924-2006
I went with the new 2006 Civic sedan, and so far I'm very much excited about my desicion. The car is tons of fun to drive...like Omi on crack, or something. It just has so much pickup and energy, it's wild. Like a little silver stallion running from the glue factory. Quick like the wind.
Check out that interior display glow! A purple haze of new car delight. It's very sexy. I wanted to have sex with it last night, but thought better of it at the last minute. Barely.
Even the steering wheel is swanky, sexy, futuristic fun for the whole family.
Check out that ass. My milkshake is better than yours...
Look at that...just inviting you in. Like a sexy temptress of Babylon adding flowers to her bed. Makes you want to slide in and have fun, doesn't it? Yeah, you know you want it. You know you do.
So that's my new car. I'm having a hard time coming up with a name for it, though. At this point, I'm not even sure if my car is a girl auto or a boy auto. My last car was a boy. He was a black 2003 Civic LX named Dante. He was good to me, and I miss him. I think this new car is a girl, but I can't be sure yet.
Do you think this is a girl car or a boy car? Any good name suggestions?
Anyway. Post lots of comments today because I'm bored and need something to do. Happy Friday, and don't warn the tadpoles.
Confusing Comments: For some reason, my blog comments are doing strange things. I replied to a comment, and somehow it posted before the comment I was replying to. WTF?!
Tuesday Funny: Ok, you have to have sound to get the full humor of this site. I'm not sure why I find this so funny, but I do.
Omi maintains lookout over his domain with constant vigilance.
Omi is a master of all office supplies, and can use them with ease.
Like all ninja, Omi prefers to lurk in the shadows where he can become neigh invisible. See if you can spot him in this picture:
Too late! Omi has already snuck up on you.
This one for Godaddy.com didn't make it to the SuperBowl, since the stupid Nazi censors this year decided it was "too racy". Whatever.
Hope you enjoy the commercials a second time. I think my favorite is the FedEx one...but the more I see the Emerald Nuts ad, the more I like it. I dunno...I'm torn.
Today is my birthday. I rule. Send me presents, or at the very least some boobie pics to my email. Check my profile for the addy. Oh, and you'd better give me props in the comments section, bitches. Today is my day.
I just noticed that I have over 20,000 hits to my blog. Weird. I guess I don't entirely suck ass through a tube...maybe I should do a dance.
I did a dance.
I guess most of you found the drunk post to be lacking in the entertainment department. Well, that's ok. I can't promise that I won't get drunk again someday...but I can promise that I won't blog while drunk. I don't want to get arrested for a BUI or anything.
Ok that was the lamest joke I've ever made in my entire effing life. Somebody please publicly rebuke me. Cripes.
I'm going away now.
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At least he's man enough to own up to his bodily functions.
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I bet they're all dead.