Sunday, July 22, 2007

Irish Drunk Fest

Jen does her best to describe to Sean's sister that he is alive and well here in Kansas.....and she proves that Americans are NOT to be trusted.

This will be fun to explain to the family. Hopefully they don't know this address.

Friday, July 20, 2007

My New Sofas

There's really not much else I can say about this.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I want to be witty and fun. But really....they're sofas. I can't do or say anything else about them that would be worth reading. I can't even think of something I could do, to make this funny or entertaining.

They do recline, though. Woot.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Rollercoaster of Love

I went to our local fun park this weekend. Theme park, fun park, amusement park...whatever your local dialect chooses to call it. Ours is called Worlds of Fun.

My favorite is still Six Flags, but that doesn't really matter to the post.

We took Jen's cousin Sean who is in town from Ireland. He had never ridden a roller coaster before. We decided we had to let him experience one while he was in town.

We were bad, mean people. We...might have told him that people sometimes die but that "it doesn't happen every month, like it used to".

SHAME on us. We are wicked.

While we were in line at a coaster we had said earlier was the "baby coaster", we informed him that it was actually the fastest one the park had, and he absolutely, positively, could not chicken out, or we would make fun of him.

I'm not sure WHY we did this. It seemed funny to us, at the time. The more pale he got as our turn to ride grew closer, the more guilty we felt. We ended up telling him the truth, that the ride was 100% safe and that it wasn't all that bad.

He didn't believe us.

He got on, anyway. On the way up the first hill, I turned around to see how he was doing. He yelled at me to turn back around so he could concentrate, or something. I heard him cussing us out as we neared the top of the very large hill to start the coaster. I think if there had been a way for his little Irish ass to jump off at this point without getting in trouble or hurt, he would have.

As we crested the hill, I think I actually heard his heart stop. Did I mention we made him sit in the front car? I didn't? Oh.....well, we did. He was in the back part of the front car with us.

Holy shit. Poor kid. Here's what he experienced:

After that was over...he wanted to go again. Whew.

HA! USA rules again! We make the best ways to scare the shit out you, and charge your for it. All are welcome.

I wonder if a cat would enjoy a roller coaster? Could you make them see from the front, like we do? Would they have a little cat embolism or something? Hmmmm.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Vent Session

You know what really bugs me? Besides people who don’t update their blog on a regular basis? (sheepish grin)

What really bugs me are people who don’t appreciate the time and effort I put into my emails and other correspondence to them. I will spend five to ten minutes making an email perfect. I’ll add colors and Italicize certain words and add bold font to make works pop out.

I even break out the paragraphs and interesting points from the main body of the email, to help them stand out so the reader can get the idea faster.

I care. I work hard to make my emails fun to read, and informative at the same time. I want them to read the email and say to themselves “Wow….he really cares about me and our new ERP project design team.”

Do you know what I get in return, most of the time?

Fucking nothing.

No reply email or response of any kind. And when I do get a reply back, it’s usually quick and has misspelled words and doesn’t even answer any of the questions I posted in the original email. It will only answer the LAST question asked, and so I am forced to reply back to the them and say “Did you read the whole email? I put EVERYTHING you need in there. The last sentence is NOT the most important part, you know!”

And then they don’t reply…again.


Fucking reply to emails that people send you. They take the time to include you in their life and they take the time to send you shit…so the LEAST you can do is take one fucking gorram minute out your busy fucking life to reply to the fucking email.

How hard is it to reply to an email? Control + R is the shortcut key, if you’re too retarded to use the mouse. I know, I know….you’re afraid of keyboard shortcuts because you still think you can “crash your hard drive” with a simple accidental keystroke because you’ve seen too many movies. Well then, don’t use keystrokes. Click the “Reply” button at the top after you’re done reading the email.

It’s not hard. I promise. Give it a try.

Did you know that every time you choose NOT to reply to an email, a puppy gets molested? It’s true. I sent you an email about it last week, but you chose to NOT read it or reply to it, so Scraps is now being fondled in his little puppy butthole right now.

Good job.