Friday, November 25, 2005

The Day After Thanksgiving

It's a good thing I'm here at the office today. Otherwise I might have missed out on all the fun that comes from being at work the day after a holiday, when 85% of the population is still at home in their beds, sleeping and dreaming about turkey and dinner rolls. It's such a relief to know that while I sit here in this cubicle confine, my friends and family are enjoying themselves and taking advantage of the holiday and all that encompasses it with smiles on their faces and a skip in their steps.

Bastards.

I'm at work today, and I find it ridiculously frustrating due to the simple fact that I don't need to be at work today. You know why? Because I have no work to do. Nothing. Nada. I am sitting here staring at this screen as I write this wondering to myself what I am going to find to occupy myself for the next 8 hours. I'm pretty sure there's not enough information on the internet to keep me entertained for that long...especially since I can't view porn at work.

Why are you at work, if you have nothing to do?

Well, let me tell you. My boss decided that she wanted to have somebody in the office because it looked better for our director. She wanted us here to give the impression that we are a collective, team-playing unit who is focused on the goal of helping the company and rising to the challenge by increasing workload and helping the new paradigm business unit assess its goals and become more productive. Basically, it's bullshit. If she really gave a crap about being a team player and increasing workload, she would be here herself, instead of at home sleeping in her warm, comfy bed.

That's bullshit, Shanshu.

I know. It's repugnantly annoying. I'm so glad that all of the CEO's and Vice Presidents and Directors and Managers and Supervisors and Team Leads of corporate America are sleeping better right now at home with their families because I am here at work with all of the other pathetic, helpless losers who have no say in the process. Because of me, those corporate executives and money-pushers can rest easy because they know that while they are gone, nothing bad will happen at their precious office building like a fire because somebody will be there. I feel like nothing more than a paid human fire alarm. I should have a little fire whistle, or something.

Toot.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!


7 comments:

Rowan said...

That's too bad Shan, but nothing to do? That sounds like a day in the life of Rowan! I NEVER have much to do at work. Sucks...couple days a mos. where I actually work, other than that? nadda.

Spinning Girl said...

Wow. Do you get overtime for this bullshit?
If you want, I can send you pictures of various parts of my body throughout the day, to entertain you.

Think Frustrated said...

I had to come to work today, too. Here I am. I am the only person in my department stupid enough not to take the day off. I had a little work to do in the morning, but now I'm just hangin out. Is there actually a director there to witness your paradigm shifting presence? And you can totally block the fire exits, because, as the wise Mitch Hedberg once said,
"If you are flammable and have legs, you are not a fire hazard."

BTW, my word verification is oinng! Like when the tin man gets a boner.

Think Frustrated said...

Oh, and spinning girl, feel free to send me pictures of various parts of your body to entertain me while I am at work. I am all for that.

drunkbh said...

At least you can still blog at work. My company has blogger restricted. They have even started blocking MSN Messenger. That's okay though. I have Yahoo!! I'm working today also and yes it sucks ass. I had to come home for a break.

Shanshu said...

Spinning girl: I would glady accept any body part pictures you felt comfortable with sending. Bring 'em over, chica. Bunny power.

frustrated: I'm pretty sure that if there were a fire in this building, I wouldn't do much except leave and laugh. But blocking the fire exits isn't a bad idea!

drunkbh: If they blocked my blogger or any of my internet, I think I would go MAD in this place day in and day out. Thank GOD for the internet, is all I have to say. That sucks you don't have much access at work, though. Damn the man.

B.O.B.I. said...

Well, uh... did Thanksgiving go OK for you?

I hope so. Indeed, I hope it was bunny fantastic, filled with too much food and three-ways!

I bet it was.

Keep it squeezy, man... at least you're not in retail, like Danius, The Other Roommate, and I.

Happy Late Thanksgiving!