You know what I don't get? Backwards Parking. The whole thing just makes me shake my head and laugh, for some reason. I know that certain driving situations require you to back-up to park...but most of the time, people do it because they want to. Personally, I've never really been in touch with the need to take the time to back my car into a spot, so that later on I can have the chance to simply pull forward and continue on with my driving experience. I know some people who backwards park, and I always giggle to myself when they do it. Why? Because I find the whole thing to be silly, that's why.
Yeah, you heard me Pizzle...I said silly.
Most people I know who do this, claim that they do the backwards parking thing because they like the ease of simply pulling out of their parking spot and then starting to drive away. They say it's easier, and saves time. Fine, but what they don't seem to realize is that the time spent backing into the spot makes the whole "time-saving" thing a bit redundant. If you spend 10 seconds backing into your spot, and only 4 seconds leaving your spot...that's 14 seconds. Now, if you spent 4 seconds to park normally, and then later on spent 10 seconds backing out to leave your parking space...that's still 14 seconds.
I may not be in calculus anymore...but I'm pretty sure that 14-14=0, which means there is NO difference between the two numbers. So we can safely assume that backwards parking does not save any time.
If this is the case, then why do people do it? Here is my list of situations that might require the need for backwards parking:
- To make it easier to load groceries into the trunk area after an afternoon of shopping.
- Trying to scare the shit out of your cat, who up until now has been staring out the back window watching things travel away from him, as opposed to the way things seem to come at him once you start driving in reverse.
- Some form of parking dyslexia.
- You have a bomb placed on your front bumper that will explode if it makes contact with anything, including the curb.
- You need to make a fast getaway from a place you just burglarized.
- You were running over somebody while in reverse, and then noticed people looking, and so you parked "just to look normal".
- You feel you are a driving rebel who has nothing to lose, and answers to nobody.
- You think your car has a big ass, and wish to hide it from the other cars in the parking lot.
- Extra proud of your "My Kid is on the Honor Roll" bumper sticker.
- You're on a stake-out.
- You think that people who back into their parking spots are cooler than other drivers, and wish to be just like them.
- You have a fear of putting your emotions on the table, and it affects even the way you park (with your front end being hidden from view as a metaphor for you hiding your feelings from others).
- You're trying to make the miles on your car go down by driving backwards as often as possible.
- You want to make it perfectly clear to your date for the evening that you have no problem "easing in from behind".
- You believe that, even with parking, different is better.
- You like the noise your car makes when it drives in reverse. This is especially true if you have one of those trucks that makes the beeping sound when going backwards.
I'm sure there are other reasons, but I don't want to spend too much time dwelling on them. As I said, I know people participate in backwards parking, but I choose not to join the club. If you believe that you, or somebody you love may have a habit of backwards parking, please get some help. Only together, can we make a difference.
Now, just to ensure that there are no hard feelings for all of my backwards parking readers out there, here is a funny clip of cats doing funny things. Enjoy!