Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I Heart Fermented Hops


So...I forgot to tell my faithful yet fewer readers about the fact that I would be going out of town for a brief amount of time. I have been gone since last Thursday, and today is my first day back in the real world. Sorry about the lack of love. I'll make it up to you with tales of...stuff.

I was at the 2006 International Mead Festival that's held in Boulder, CO every year. It's a chance for people like me to take a few days off work to enjoy the mountains and fresh air while sipping tasty meads that push me into a honey-wine induced stupor which tends to last for hours. It's also the time when lots of dirty hippies and freaks show up to pretend like they're cool for the weekend.

Seriously...the freaks were out in force. I even think they had decoder rings to help recognize each other, in case the flowing capes and goth makeup didn't give it away.

Now, I'm all for people being themselves, and doing what makes them happy. We've all got quirks and we're all nerds at heart, in some way or another. I do draw the line, however, at things that lean towards the crazy.

Example: Telling anybody within earshot about the spell you put on yourself earlier which allows you to drink without guilt.

Example: Taking turns drinking your friend's blood in a wannabe vampire way outside the tasting room for all to see.

Example: Wearing anything felt.

Just a few examples of the freaks, and why they bugged me this weekend. They didn't ruin my good time, or anything. I just knew they were there, and it annoyed me. Like that bug bite you have on the back of your leg. You don't want to pay attention to it, because then you'd have to scratch at it, and it will just get more annoying later on. It's better to just ignore it, and hope it goes away on it's own.

Anyhoo. Here's a quick list of things I learned this weekend:

  • Polish mead is so good, it should be illegal.
  • Living in a dry state sucks. I can't have any of the mead I sampled shipped to me, so what's the point?
  • You can't ferment hops, no matter how hard you try.
  • Breathing in the smell of a room full of fresh pepermint is almost like getting stoned.
  • Drinking blood is the next logical step, after drinking mead.
  • Boneless Buffallo wings are good for breakfast when you're in a pinch.
  • Orange ninjas are just as cool as black ones.
  • No matter how the conversation began, you can always conclude it with a phrase relating to butt sex and have it make sense.
  • I can eat Elk without getting sick.
  • It rains in Seattle.
  • Felt is the new cotton.
  • Having a margaritta after a day of mead tasting leads to the wacky, but it still won't help get you butt sex.

7 comments:

Kay said...

Felt=weird for anyone older than kindergarden.
Regarding rain in Seattle: there's approximately 30 days a year it doesn't.
I agree with you about people having the freedom to express themselves, but that doesn't make those people in capes and (only the weird ones here:) trench-coats weird me out any less. They just make me feel dirty right down to my soul. Don't even get me started on bums and hippies.

Anyways, glad you had fun, don't ever leave us again.

And happy Valentine's day.

Think Frustrated said...

I think it's funny that, as your page loads, I can only see the words you put in different colors. It read :"Polish Mead, Ferment Hops, Boneless Buffallo wings, Orange Ninjas, butt sex."

I was disappointed when the rest loaded. It seemed like it would be about Drunken Polish Orange Ninjas eating Buffallo Wings and having butt sex.

Bad Touch said...

You failed to mention the "Teabagging" room at Celestial Seasonings.

badtouch.

Shanshu said...

Kay: Sorry I left! I won't do it again, without notice.

Frustrated: Dude, that cracked me up. I wish I had posted something like that, now.

Bad Touch: Indeed! The "Tea bagging" area at the factory was worth mentioning.

Maccafreak said...

What was that spell that let you drink without guilt? :P

Pizzle said...

Ha! TF, I totally feel ya on that one. I thought the same thing.

Welcome back, Shan.

wrmblnwrck said...

Dang, it's like a comicon but with beer. I'm a big fan of doing your own thing. Do what you want to who you want as long as thats what they want. Not that I lead an exotic life style in any sense of the word I just try to keep an open mind. I can deal with felt, I can deal with you thinking you're all magical. I'm not sure I can deal with the blood drinking in public. That's just too fucked up. huh.