Thursday, February 09, 2006

The Department of Redundancy Department

From CNN: The British man whose American wife and baby were found shot to death last month in Massachusetts has been arrested in England and charged with murder, officials say. Neil Entwistle is charged with two counts of murder, one count of illegal possession of a firearm and one count of illegal possession of ammunition, says Melissa Sherman of the Middlesex district attorney's office. Autopsy results showed the mother died of a gunshot wound to the head and the baby died of a gunshot to the stomach.

Ok, now I know that England is notorious for doing things by the book; it's what they're famous for. They won't let you wipe unless you've filled out the proper forms. When I was traveling around Europe, England was one of the few places I visited whose Passport Office actually questioned me to be sure I wasn't a terrorist. They are sticklers for the rules, and I think that's peachy.

However...sometimes I think they take things too far. For instance, take Mr. Soon-to-be-living-the-rest-of-his-short-ass-life-in-agonizing-pain-murderer (alleged) up there in the article snippet I attached. He's charged with the horrible crime of killing his wife and his baby. It's horrible, it's awful. Double Murder charge...pretty intense. Then you have the other charges of illegal possession of a firearm and illegal possession of ammunition.

Now, I'm no lawyer...but I think the double murder charge has a bit more bite to it...so I would think you would tend to focus on that, instead of the "you shouldn't be carrying a gun" rule. I mean, seriously. Do you think this guy gives two shits about the weapons charge? He's charged with murdering his wife and small baby...who gives a fuck about the fact he had an illegal gun?

That's like charging a man suspected of burning down an orphanage with illegal carrying of matches.

The whole thing just seems a tad redundant to me. You've already charged him with a double murder... which most likely will lead to a death penalty, or something. The weapons charge is just silly, at that point.

British Officer: Right, then. You've been sentanced to death for the murder of your loving wife and small child. Death proceedings shall commence at the top of the hour.
Neil Entwistle: Yes, I understand. I'm ready to face my judgement.
British Officer: Quite right, yes. Good chap! Now, will you be so kind as to sign this?
Neil Entwistle: What is this, then?
British Officer: Ah, it's nothing. Just a triffle, really. But this is the weapons charge you had. You have to sign it so we can sentance you accordingly.
Neil Entwistle: Sentance me? To what?
British Officer: That would be 30 days in jail.
Neil Entwistle: But...but you're going to kill me in one hour! How am I going to serve the other sentance?
British Officer: Oh, yes. Well...you see, we've decided the best way to handle this, is to keep your body in your cell after you're dead. Then you can serve your 30 day sentance and be on your way.
Neil Entwistle: But I'll be dead!
British Officer: Yes, well you had that coming to you , didn't you? Sign here.

11 comments:

Kay said...

I think it's more of the in case the dirt bag weasles out of the murder charge, then they've still got him for illegally carrying a gun and ammo.

It's the whole, one way or another we've got your ass thing.

But you're right, it is kind of retarded, and your little skit-thing was absolutley hilarious.

Crystal said...

Well, they'd do that in the US too. We have murderers who get out after just a few years. The prosecutors usually tack on every charge they can think of to lengthen the sentence.

Kay said...

Oh, and P.S.
Is your nano white or black? And how many gigs?

And congrats, itn't it the bestest thing ever?

wrmblnwrck said...

It's kind of like Assault and Battery. Assault is basically threatening violence on someone, battery is doing the actual violence...So if you beat someone up they'll get you for assault (fist flying at face) and battery (fist hitting face). Seems redundant. Same with illegal weapon AND illegal ammo.

So if you have a .22 shell in your pocket you're breaking the law in England? Or do you have to also be carrying the .22 for it to be bad?

DaMasta said...

It's like that song, "Mo' charges, Mo' bettah".

The defense wants all the charges they can get. Makes for bigger budgets. [Don't ask me about details, I just saw this on some law and order show...]

Shanshu said...

damasta: Don't you mean that the prosecution wants more charges? I would think the defense would want less.

wrmblnkwerweoiusoui: your name is too tough to spell.

kay: it's black, of course. It's only 2 gig because I didn't pick it out for myself. If I had, i would have gotten the 4 gig. But 2 is probably enough, for now. And yes, it's the bestest thing EVER.

drunkbh said...

Crystal is correct. They will charge him with every crime possible in case he isn't convicted of murder.

I can't imagine what would possess someone to shot their infant child. People like this are the reason that we need to bring back public hangings.

DaMasta said...

Dammit.

Seee... I can't even watch t.v. right.

Gosh.

The Humanaught said...

I'm pretty sure England's joined the rest of civilized society and doesn't have the death penalty. So I think he's more likely going to be sitting on his ass (and a rather sore and bloodied one at that) for a long, long time.

Now before I draw a lot of comments about why I say "civilized society", please don't think I believe this means letting asshole baby-killing murders live. I would love for them all to die. However, if you've not done so in the past, please give Governor George Ryan's speech a read. It's by no means the only thing that should be read on the topic... but shows a very clear case for why it's time to evolve our penal system (and I don't mean by getting fluffy and adding more TV sets or conjugal visits).

Regardless... redundance is funny, and very humorous.

Kay said...

That's it, where's Friday's Post?

Shanshu said...

I have been out of town since last Thursday...I just got back today.

I'll post soon, I promise!