Thursday, July 21, 2005

Ricokulously Random

Ok, so...since I am so fucking hungover today, and since I'm fairly certain that at some point, I will either fall over and die, or puke up my coffee...I'm doing a quick, random-thought blog posting today. It gives me something to concentrate on, it doesn't take too much thought, and it makes me feel better. I hope you can appreciate my lack of creativity.

  • Orange Gatorade is my favorite thing to drink, when I'm sick. So sometimes I wonder: if I drink it when I am not sick, will I start to FEEL sick?
  • Without Stewie, Family Guy would suffer and die.
  • Over the years, I have completly forgotten the differences between Operant and Classical conditioning.
  • My bring-to-work lunch today features homemade chicken enchiladas, which I'm pretty sure will kill me, if I eat them while hungover.
  • I spent 30 minutes this morning teaching myself how to score bowling. I am now a pro.
  • Anal sex is fun!
  • Today's terror attacks in London piss me off. Fuck those stupid terrorists in their stupid asses, with their own stupid feet.
  • QuickTrip shouldn't call its coffee "Select Blend" like it's some sort of secret recipe, Seattle-worthy, awesome drink. It's fucking gas station coffee, pure and simple. Just because they put it in a cute little cup, and give it cute little names like "Irish Cream Chocolate Swiss Hazlenut Blend", doesn't make it better. It's still gas station coffee.
  • Many of the people I work with are idiots, and listening to them talk among themselves makes me want to punch my own head.
  • I have no idea what this sentance means: Eschew all conglomerations of flatulent garrulity, jejune babblement, and asinine affectations.
  • The TI-82 calculator was the coolest calculater I ever owned, and I wish I knew what I did with it.
  • I'm currently reading The Count of Monte Cristo.
  • I no longer have the urge to vomit...but if I move my head too quickly in any direction, I get so dizzy, I think I might pass out.
  • I like to go to Hooters for the chicken wings. Seriously. The boobies are just a bonus.
  • Every time somebody walks by my desk, I feel the need to turn and see who it is. Then the sicky, dizzy feeling comes back.
  • If OJ killed 2 people, why do we still drink it?
  • I started typing this 17 minutes ago.
  • Group sex and threesomes are the most fun you'll ever have with your friends.
  • Is there really a difference between hot cocoa and hot chocolate? I mean, really?
  • KFC has the best biscuits on earth. Period.
  • I still remember the Alamo.
  • Why do some people wear black arm bands, during mourning periods? Why can't they just wear a black shirt?
  • I don't know why people make fun of Sylvester Stallone movies...some of them are quite entertaining.
  • Cotton Candy makes my teeth itch.
  • I see nothing wrong, whatsoever, with breast implants.
  • Aphrodite is a cooler name, than Venus.
  • Are pickles really just cuccumbers soaked in vinegar for a long time? That's fucking nasty, if you ask me. Who took the time to think THAT would be a good idea?
  • Ketchup or Catsup?
  • I love my Doc Martin shoes, but I hate the fact that the laces always untie themselves.
  • I wish I could take a nap at my desk, without anybody else knowing.


EBethToThePowerOf? said...

Random Responses--
Stewie is the lifeblood of an otherwise pedantic comedy.
I use my TI-82 to balance my checkbook.
Round shoelaces are a communist plot.
Get a blow-up doll. Dress it like you. Prop it up at your desk. Go to broom closet and have said nap. Or, just go to your car over lunch break and set the alarm on your cell phone. You can get a good 55-58 minutes in, depending on the distance from you cubicle to your car.

Shanshu said...

Not a bad nap idea. I'm thinking about just sleeping with my head propped up in my hands, and if anybody asks me, I'll just say I was praying.

da buttah said...

i just re-realized how much i love the word pedantic.

poor london =0(

wrmblnwrck said...

Drinking 7up makes me feel sick. For that very reason.
We drink OJ because we don't know how many people grapefruit juice has killed. Better the evil that you know.
I remember the Alamo too. They gave me a free upgrade to a convertable once.
You like the wings?? *shudder* I just can't deal with that little feeler wing. creeps me out.
I think that sentence means someone violently abused a thesaurus.

wahidsatay said...

OMG im supposed to be sleeping!!

and i have to be at work in two hours time...

would i qualify for internet anonymous you think?

Shanshu said...

rich: that alamo joke...yeah, it took me all damn day, to get it. that's how slow my mind is.

wahid: I don't know what you mean, when you say "internet annonymous".

Danikabur said...

Damn that was a funny read.

da buttah said...

internet anonymous

synonymous, or a play on, alcoholics anonmyous.


Kat Cream said...

Lists are good when you are fucked, they create order and questions, they make a booze damaged brain feel useful.

What the hell is Orange Gatorade? It sounds like a remedy for grandmothers diarrhoea.

Chicken enchiladas are not a known hangover cure, they will kill the few operational brain cells.

Yes! Anal sex is fun! but only with lube and a mirror.

Terrorists need a damn good fuck. Why would you bother getting up in the morning to go bombing if you're getting a banging?

'Many of the people I work with are idiots, and listening to them talk among themselves makes me want to punch my own head. ' I find hitting them helps.

'I have no idea what this sentance means: Eschew all conglomerations of flatulent garrulity, jejune babblement, and asinine affectations.' Nor do I

'If OJ killed 2 people, why do we still drink it?' Because you know you will get away with it.

Napping with your eyes open is a hell of a skill.

Great blog in spite of your disabled state.

Spinning Girl said...

Great list.

l'il bear said...

Ahhhhh, once again, you have made me smile. Fuck dude you rock.

(So true about the cotton candy, sick shit that stuff is.)

Shanshu said...

kat cream: You don't know what Gatorade is? How can that be? When I lived in Dublin, I'm almost certain that I had Gatorade while I was there...but I could be mistaken. Perhaps Europe doesn't have it, yet. Hmmmm.

I'm not sure if I could have anal sex with a mirror...that sounds complicated.

luckyeasyfree said...

hello there. just blog hopping around and loving it.
i like your style of witty writing.
kinda inspiring. :)

Connie said...

I beg to differ about KFC having the best biscuits. I would like you to consider Red Lobster and Popeye's Fried Chicken. Thanks.