Hark! The Weekend is Upon Us!

Now THAT is the kind of partying I want to do this weekend! Hopefully I'll have some stories for my loyal readers on Monday. Until then, have a shot in my honor.

Pain and Pleasure: A Blog-Thesis

Pain: usually localized physical suffering associated with bodily disorder (as a disease or an injury); also : a basic bodily sensation induced by a noxious stimulus, received by naked nerve endings, characterized by physical discomfort (as pricking, throbbing, or aching), and typically leading to evasive action.

During a recent video research session relating to the mating rituals and habits of the California-based porneus starius, I found myself pondering an arousing and interesting thought. This thought came to me ever so gently, as I was giving a routine breast exam to the young lady beside me. During the procedure, the female began to show signs of arousal at my touch and urged me to continue in a more provocative manner. I obliged, and slowly started to squeeze the nipple of her left breast between my thumb and forefinger in a gentle yet firm manner. Upon doing so, the female began to moan and rotate her pelvis in a counter-clockwise motion while digging her nails into the arm of the sofa. Soon, she began to request an increase in the pressure on her nipple with varying degrees of urgency and desire. Her verbal commands of “harder…please, harder!” instigated the increased nipple squeezes which led to the moment when I found myself pondering the arousing and interesting thought: I'm touching a boobie!

I continued to increase the pressure to her nipple, while trying to keep myself from squeezing too hard, thus prematurely ending the breast exam. However, to my surprise the female continued to request that more pressure be introduced to the squeezing of the mammary protuberance, until I found myself compressing it at levels which bordered on pain and lunacy. When this level was reached, the female began to inhale and exhale deeply, while biting her lower lip and continuing to dig her nails into the sofa. It was then, that she displayed what many researchers refer to as “throes of passion” which would inevitably lead to the moment of orgasm. At this point it was decided to continue the exam in a more private location where I would be able to “bust a nut” in a controlled research scenario.

After the session was concluded and I had completed all of my research, I found myself wondering about the correlations between pain and pleasure. Where does one end, and the other begin? Are they synonymous? Do they exist in a causational relationship? Can too much pleasure be painful, or too much pain be pleasurable? The questions swirled in my mind, and I found it difficult to fall asleep as I lay there next to my research subject. I decided that more testing had to be done.

* * *

Of course, we all know that some people enjoy pain; the common term of masochism is defined as a sexual perversion characterized by pleasure in being subjected to pain or humiliation. Well, this definition doesn’t quite fit all of the possible scenarios for enjoying the sensation of pain, in my opinion. Why is it automatically sexual? Haven’t you ever been aroused by pain in ways that you would not expect?

-Hair Pulling : Why do some women enjoy having their hair pulled during sex?
-Indian Burns: They can hurt, that is true…but I can recall asking to receive them when I was a child. Why would I ask for pain, if there wasn’t some part of me that enjoyed that particular stimulus?
-Spanking: This started out as an act of punishment when we were children, and yet many adult women (and men) find themselves sexually aroused by the act, as they mature.
-Hot tubs: the water is usually above 100 degrees, and can ever turn our skin red from the excess heat…yet we moan and smile with pleasure as we lay there.
-Back and Body Rubs: high levels of pressure on the back and muscles in an attempt to relieve stress. These can hurt like a sonofabitch and yet we ask for them because of how good they make us feel afterwards.

Pain and pleasure. Pleasure and pain…the two terms are completely opposite of each other on the dictionary spectrum, and yet they are surprisingly similar in their emotional outputs. A friend on mine once informed me that the look on a person’s face when they are in pain is the same look that a person can make during extreme pleasure moments (orgasms). This suggests that the body’s physical response can be the same for both negative and positive physical stimulus. Ohhhhhhhh interesting.

Example: The way a man reacts to ejaculation (body shakes, sharp intake of breath, flexing of the body) is the same way he would react to sitting in a tub of ice-cold water…minus the semen part.

Obviously, we can say that pain and pleasure are similar, and can invoke similar physical responses to stimuli. However, I do not think we can freely interchange the two. Rubbing one’s skin with a soft cloth is a pleasurable event; using steel wool is a painful event. While slaps to the buttocks can be both painful and pleasing at the same time, a severe beating with clubs and paddles leans towards the side of ouch.

I think we can also say that the same external physical stimulus can produce different internal emotions, based on circumstances. If you twist a woman’s nipple when she is in a state of sexual arousal, the act can be manipulated into a pleasurable and painful event. If you twist the nipple the same way while she is not in a state of sexual arousal, such as watching television or working on a research paper…the result would most likely be pain, for both parties involved.

So, some pain can be pleasurable…and some pleasures can be painful. But not all things that are painful are also pleasurable, and not all pleasing things are painful things. Black is not always white, and white is not always black. In order to go forward, you must take two steps back.

Pain and Pleasure…I’ve decided this is something worth exploring more. I’m going to borrow my friend’s horse whip for this weekend and see if I can do a little bit more research. Whinny like you love it, baby! Yee-haw.

Origins and the Mystery of Bunny

I have had a lot of people ask me lately, "Dude what the heck is group bunny?". What started out as a fun little catch-phrase has turned into a new saying amongst my friends and fellow bloggers. Because of this, I feel the need to make sure that everybody understands what the bunny means to me; to all of us. Even though I'm sure most people can get the gist of what group bunny is without asking for a translation, I'm betting that very few people remember why I started using this phrase, in the first place. So, in accordance with blogger code TK-421 I will re-publish the original "bunny" post for your enjoyment and quest for knowledge. Enjoy!


Don't bunny in my hair, I just washed it
Tuesday, March 29th 2005

Happy Easter! I trust that you all had a good Sunday with family and friends, and that all was enjoyable?

As some of you know, my Easter Sunday normally involves Church and dinner with my mother...sometimes accompanied by my uncle and/or grandmother. Since my family has never been large, holidays like Easter are never anything more than dinner, for the most part. This year, however, I was introduced to the world of big family holiday insanity. My guide for said event was my girlfriend Jenni, who tried her best to prepare me for "Meyer Easter Bash 2005".

In the morning, I met my mom at church for Sunday Easter service. It was nice, and I left with a general good feeling about life, the universe, and all the birdies in between. My mother even gave me an Easter basket, filled with eggs of all colors, which were in turn filled with goodies galore. Chocolate eggs and jelly beans and M&M’s abounded; topped off with a nice bottle of Merlot. Ah, yes. Wine and chocolate…the cornerstone of any perfect Easter basket.

I said farewell to mom, and headed back to the apartment to pick up Jen. Together, we headed towards her aunt’s house where the festivities were going to be held for the day.

We were among the first to arrive, and so much of the first part of the day was spent standing around and waiting for the other guests. This proved to be more difficult than it sounds, since Jen was still not 100% over her chest cold, and I was only on day 2 of my horrible stomach bug. So, needless to say, standing around sipping water for 2 hours was not the speediest road to recovery we could have been on.

Nevertheless, we managed to munch on some snacks and sip some drinks, and generally had a good time chatting away with Jen’s family and friends of the family. Now, when I say “family” I mean FAMILY. You know…like “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse” family? Well, they aren’t a mob family, or anything. But there are enough of them, that I feel if they wanted, they could really create havoc in the crime world. They would be called the Meyer Mafia, and they would strike fear in the hearts of men…or something like that.

Anyway, she has a big family.

Eventually, they started the Meyer Easter 2005 scavenger hunt. Everybody was split up into teams, and those teams were then given tasks to complete. I guess this has been going on for years, and it’s become quite the reason for attending said Easter party. I’ve heard Jen talk about it before, and I was very curious as to what would be involved.

I looked on the team sheet, and saw that I was on team #7, while Jen was on team #2. Crap. That meant I would be on a team with people that I did not know, and that bodes badly. Although, it turned out that I already knew 2 of the members of my team, and Nelson was the only member I had to be introduced to. So, it turned out fine.

After the teams were together and ready, we received our “clue” sheet. It was basically a cryptic page about bunnies and the Oscars, the result of which would lead you to:

1-Name an Oscar-Winning actor who has the same first or last name as one of the Plaza Bunnies, that matches the clues on your team’s game sheet
2-Name the movie that actor won their Oscar for
3-Get a photo of your group along with the bunny statue on the Plaza that matches your team’s Oscar-winning actor
4-Figure out a scene from the movie that your team will act out for everybody else, later on.

Whew! I was now knee-deep in the famous Meyer Family Easter Bash.

My team’s actor turned out to be Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. So we piled into Nelson’s car, and drove down to the Plaza to search for a bunny named “Nicolas” or “Cage” or some other derivation. Luckily for us, Nelson already knew where a bunny statue was named “Nicolas” was, and so that saved us a heap of time and trouble. So we found the bunny, and gathered around it to take our team bunny photo. Then, we headed to Nelson’s house for a few props for our movie scene, and then headed back to Easter HQ.

After all the other teams arrived at the house, they began to prepare their skits and such, and so my team did the same. We decided to let Nelson play Nicolas Cage, and that 10-year old Madeline would play the hooker. Nice, huh? Well, we also decided it would be too hilarious if we grabbed direct quotes from the movie, and had the two of them read them in a “dramatic scene”. This would have been funny enough…but Nelson had the great idea to replace every bad word with the word “bunny” to keep with the theme.

Example: You can bunny me in the bunny. You can bunny on my face…just keep it out of my hair, I just washed it.

How great is that? So needless to say, after Nelson completed his very serious and dirty Nicolas Cage monologue using the term “bunny” every few seconds…the crowd was roaring with laughter and my team won the competition! Yay! Jen was happy for me…but also annoyed. I guess that in the 11 years she has been playing this Easter game, she has never won before. Bummer. I got a nice blue ribbon, and (from what Jen has told me) bragging rights for the next 6 months, so I was happy.

After the competition was over, we had dinner. Around this time, I checked my watch to notice that we had been a part of the Meyer Easter bash for almost 6 hours, already. Wow. Jen was feeling bad, and I was ready to go, as well. So after dinner, we decided it was time to leave. So, I survived my first Easter Bash, and I must say it was a good time. I think next year I’ll try really hard to win again…just so I can have bragging rights over Jen for a long time!

Nelson's Bunny Monologue:
"Are you bunny? Are you bunny? Maybe if you drank bunny with me, it would help. Maybe if you bunnied me and I could taste the sting in your bunny, it would help. If you drank bunny with me bunny. If you smelled of bunny as you bunnied me, it would help. It would increase my esteem for you. If you poured bunny onto your bunny body and said to me "bunny this". If you spread your bunnies and you had bunny dripping from your bunnies and your bunny and said "bunny here" then I could fall in love with you. Because then I would have a purpose. To bunny you up and that, that would prove that I'm worth something. I'd bunny you clean so that you could go away and bunny someone else."

Shanshu's "Not really trying" Post

I'm not going to try and make this post uber cool or awesome in any way. It's Monday, and if you know me at all you know I hate Mondays with a passion that is only rivaled by my contempt with my current employment. Put the two together, and you have a very uncreative and sassy Shanshu. Needless to say, this post won't be all that, and a bag of chips. Please don’t stop reading my blog, because I guarantee this post will make you want to kill yourself since it is going to S-U-C-K.

What I did this weekend:

-Friday night was dinner with my mommy and Jen at a friggin awesome steakhouse. There was a lot of dead cow involved, and a lot of beer. Then we went home and watched Crash and I fell asleep because the movie bored the ever-loving shit out of me. Blah blah racial stereotypes, blah blah everybody has problems, blah blah people are mean, blah blah we're all connected. The end.

-Saturday was the Renaissance Festival. The KC Ren-Fest has been a tradition of mine since I was a wee lad with a thirst for culture, history, and the chance to see women in corsets. This was my first visit this year, and the fun was dampened by the hot, humid weather and the never-ending supply of mud. No amount of beer or turkey legs could have made the day much better. Jen got a cute little Henna tattoo on her lower back and that was pretty sexy and exciting. TARGET! Huzzah!

-Saturday night was a drinking and porn party at a friend’s house. We rented 3 movies but the best one was Debbie Does Dallas: The Revenge. Thumbs up all around…I suggest you go rent it. Heck, go buy it because I’m sure you’ll enjoy it over and over and over and over again. Oh, and just to save you the suspense, there was no group bunny this weekend so if that’s all you care about, you might as well stop reading now.

-Sunday was my friend Connie’s wedding reception. It was a grand event under a big tent out in the middle of the country. There were drinks and there was food, and there was fun. I even saw some people that I hadn’t seen in years, so that was fun to play catch up and such. I even got to see Connie in her wedding dress, which was cool since I wasn’t able to make it to the wedding last year because it was in Taiwan. So, I had a good time. I couldn't stay as long as I wanted to, because Jen was sick and I had a wicked hangover, but I had fun regardless.

So that was my weekend. I’m pretty tired today, to be honest. I took a mini-nap at lunch and that didn’t really help, much. I am literally counting the minutes until I can leave the office and head home to crash on the sofa. I hope everybody had a great weekend, and lots of group bunny.

Happy Monday

More Stupid Than I Can Handle

There are certain things in this world that piss me off to the point of crazy. Mostly, it involves the stupidity of other people and their desire to rub their dumb off onto me like some sort of infectious disease. I feel it is my duty to share my rage with the world, in the hopes that at least one person will be saved from the onslaught of retarded people who try to pull us down to their level of lame on a daily basis. They can’t be stopped, but at least they can be avoided with some careful maneuvering.

Today’s stupid people rant will be about CHAIN LETTERS.

I hate chain letters. I hate them in the face. I hate them so much, that every time one of my “intelligent” friends or loved ones forwards one on to me, I lose a little bit more faith in my society, and its system of social evolution. How can a person who considers themselves to be a smart member of our society really believe that there are African princes out there who are trying to give away their fortune for the low price of $199.95? How do these people not fall down more often?

Here is the chain letter that I received this morning, along with the explanation as to why it’s bogus.

It really makes my butt itch, when my friends and family send this crap to me. I shake my fists to the skies and curse the person who started the chain, and pray that they do not have the physiological capacity for reproduction so they cannot burden us with their idiocy any longer. National Blood Initiation Day? Fucking lame. So lame, it limps. How could somebody I know fall for this crap?

The thing that really gets me about chain letters, is that it dupes smart people into believing them. Once a smart person starts to believe a dumb person, it’s all over for our way of life. The fabric will start to unravel, and our world falls into chaos. Chain letters do nothing but spread the “stupid disease”, and cause intelligent people to run out and do stupid things. How many people do you know who ran out and bought a home generator and a year’s supply of food before Y2K? Do you know how lame that was? UBER LAME. I guarantee some idiot hacker thought it would be funny to start some sort of anti-information chain letter about how the world is going to explode when Y2K happens and it caused a ton of smart people to buy into his bullshit and cause panic in the streets.

Argh.

The problem with chain letters, is that they never make it sound too fake. They give you just enough bullshit, wrapped with some truth in the hopes that you will buy into the lie and forward the letter and infect more people with the hoax. I’ve decided that aliens are going to take over our planet, and they’re trying to make as many of us turn stupid before the invasion as they can. Their weapon? Chain letters filled with bogus information and crap to make our brains shrink up and die within our skulls.

So, for my friends and family, who I love and protect…let me clear a few things up for you, in regards to chain mail:

-95% of all chain emails you receive are bogus. Accept this as fact, and you’ll be fine.
-There are no princes in Africa that are willing to give you $100,000 if you buy them a plane ticket to Florida on your credit card.
-No matter how many people you forward an email to, there will never be a video that pops up to reward you afterwards….ever.
-Big companies like Microsoft, Subway, Ford, Starbucks, etc. will never send out a chain letter that says something along the lines of “please forward this to 100 people and we’ll give you money” . This will never happen.
-Abstinence from chain emails is the only way to be safe.
-No matter how many people’s names are on an email chain, it will never: drop the price of gasoline, withdraw our troops from Iraq, or save a life.
-If the police are worried about something that is a threat to you, they will not rely on email chains to inform you. They’ll do something crazy like…make a public announcement, or involve your local news team.
-If the email contains the words “This is not fake!” or “This is for real” then you can be positive that it IS fake and that it is NOT real.

Hopefully, somebody out there will read this and change their ways. With any luck, the next time one of you receives a chain email that makes some ridiculous claim and uses buzz words and official looking data, you’ll know the truth and do the right thing…delete it and then beat the person who sent it to you over the head with a rubber chicken.

We must fight the stupidity, people. We must put a stop to this spread of dumb that is seeping into our brains through idiotic crap like chain letters!!! Fight the spread! Stop the insanity!



Now please forward this to at least 10 people, so we can save Timmy's life and then a video will pop up on your screen. Don't forget to send me $19.95 so we can cure cancer.

Costume Lameness

Should I wear fake blood on my face? Do these pants look like something a necromancer would wear? Are we going to have metal swords, or just those wooden ones like last time? Why is Amanda making out with that goblin in the corner? Doesn’t she know that he’s here with the pink fairy over by the cheese cubes? Besides, everybody knows that goblins and elves hate each other…

Yes, kiddies. It’s almost that time of year again. The Eve of All Hallows…the day before…um…the Hallows. The time of costumes, mass amounts of candy consumption, and a burning desire to look at your fellow peers and friends in a very sexy new light. It’s the one day of the year, when even the geekiest girl among us can roam the streets dressed like complete whore without fear of imprisonment or ridicule. Halloween is the day when we all allow ourselves to succumb to some of those darker impulses, and find comfort in the darkness. On this day, we do not shy away from those things that scare us…we embrace them.

The most important aspect of this day is the ritualistic yet necessary custom of dressing up in costumes. We wear outfits/masks/makeup in an attempt to be as scary/sexy/funny as we can be in the name of good fun and holiday cheer. The ancient custom of wearing masks dates back from when people believed that All Hallows Eve was the night when the demons and evil creatures would walk among us, in search of….candy, apparently. These roaming candy demons would devour any humans they came across, and so people would wear scary masks to pass as just another evil being in search of chocolate goodness. Kind of like gargoyles, except without the statues and high buildings. The tradition of dressing up in costumes started out as a superstitious tactic to avoid the undead. Today, it’s usually just an excuse to see that girl in accounting dress up in a sexy French maid outfit.

Even though Halloween is a good month or so away, I’m trying very hard this year to be prepared. I was a Boy Scout, after all and that was our motto: be prepared. So this year, instead of coming up with a lame costume idea at the last minute ("this is my costume…serial killers look like everybody else!"), I’ve decided that this year I’m going to put some thought into it.

So, while I was online today looking at costume ideas and online costume shops, I noticed something that had never really occurred to me, before. Halloween costumes are designed with hot girls in mind, and hot girls only. I mean, there were TONS of costumes out there for the ladies, and they all involved the showing of legs, the breasts, or both. Of course, that doesn’t bother me too much…it’s just the fact that all of the men’s costumes definitely stood on the side of suck. Like I want to dress up like a giant slice of pizza? Please.

There were sexy vampire outfits complete with mesh stockings and long, jet black wigs and pearly white teeth for the ladies…and a puffy white shirt with a gay cape for the men. Grrr….argh!

There were sexy nurse outfits, sexy French maid outfits…even a SEXY NUN outfit, for crissake! Women have about 1,001 cool costume possibilities, all of which make them sexier and more desirable than they were before. What do the men have to choose from? A purple-cloaked wizard costume complete with a long white beard and pointy elf shoes, or an adult size Harry Potter costume.

Sexy.

The men’s costumes are always lame. Prisoner costumes…black and white striped pajamas with a cute little bell-boy hat and maybe a ball-and-chain accessory for some “realism”. Vampire costumes that make us look…well, gay. Couple costumes that make us look retarded and lame like Raggedy Ann and Andy outfits. I even saw a full-sized Spiderman costume. Now, come on!! I like Spiderman as much as the next dork, but I’m not about to dress up like the fucker on Halloween. "My spidey-sense is tingling! It's telling me I'm not going to get laid tonight." Seriously, what chance do men have with the ladies when they look retarded?

“Dude! Look at Jessica in that outfit! Her boobs look great and she’s so hot!”
“Yeah, man. Totally. I would go talk to her, but this giant Yoda head makes my voice sound funny. You go talk to her, man.”
“I can’t…I’m afraid this Garfield outfit makes me look fat.”

Lame. It’s my mission this year to wear an outfit that doesn’t make me look like a complete and total loser. Hopefully I can come up with something that will allow me to do the nasty with a sexy bar wench or Renaissance chick, instead of sitting at home in my X-Men outfit using my new mutant abilities to change the channel on the TV.





Any cool costume ideas this year? Post a comment and tell us about it.

Girls, Girls, Girls!

Since the topic got such positive feedback, I thought I’d go ahead and post about girls in our blogger community that I think would be awesome in bed. Maybe in future posts we can get more detailed and personal, but for now, I’ll just post their names and why I think they would be able to give any guy (or girl) a run for their money in the sack.

Dirty Blonde: Maybe it’s the drunk thing…maybe it’s the hot party pics she posts…maybe it’s that dirty attitude. Whatever the reason, I have a strong suspicion that she would be hard to keep up with. I'm also willing to bet that if she wanted to, she could post some stories that would even make me blush.

Ashley: I’m not entirely sure why, to be honest. I think it has something to do with the innocent vibe you get from her, but then you find out through hints and sly comments that she would be a wild partner. That whole “innocent housewife with whips in the closet” idea is a classic, and hard to ignore. There's a reason Desperate Housewives is such a big hit.

High Maintenance Hussy: She's bisexual, lives in Europe, and a writer…need I say more? I don’t think so. Sexy and wild, all the way. Growl. When HMH starts the sexy talk, I get warm fuzzies in my special place.

Jen: I really should put Jen on the list, since I know for a fact that she is good in bed. I'm sure there are some people who read this blog that also know this to be true.

Insanityinsk: I don’t even know this girl very well…but her posts are enough to let me know that she is a sexual creature with a lot of toys under her mattress. Wild in bed? I’m willing to put money on it.

Nameless and Kay: These two MUST be wild in the sack, for the pure fact that they enjoy talk about Group Bunny. Anybody who even jokingly mentions wanting to be invited to the next group bunny beach bash is just dying for a threesome, which means at their core they have to be stallions between the sheets. Especially when they work together. (wink)

Spinning Girl: She’s naughty. I can’t tell you why, and I can’t quite put my finger on it…but it is my belief that when given the opportunity, she has the power to make men beg for more. Perhaps it is her Zeus-like ability to shoot out Tolkien trivia like thunderbolts from high above. Or maybe I just get a crazy idea in my head, and have trouble getting it out. Even though I have no proof to back up my theory, I think she's definately got handcuffs under her pillow.

So, there’s my list. It’s not complete, because there are many more that could/should be on it, but as far as first attempts go, I think it’s not too shabby. I’m sure in the future I will include more ladies, and maybe even some lads. We’ll just see how well received this post is, before contemplating a sequel. Please note:

-If you are a girl, and you are not on this list, but feel you should be: leave a comment about why and try to convince me. Don't be offended. Chances are, I wanted to put you on the list but decided against it, this time around. Or maybe I thought you would take offense, and I didn't want to annoy you.
-If you are a girl, and you are on the list, and you do not wish to be because you are shy or embarrassed: please let me know and I will remove you.
-If you are a guy, and you have a girl that you think should be included on the list: please leave a comment and include their name and the reasons behind your answer.
-If you are a jealous boyfriend/husband/monkey: please visit Pizzle or BOBI and let them know all about your rage. They will be handling this aspect of my mail, for me. I hope they don't mind, too much.

This Is My Angry Face

I’m pissed off. I’ve been pissed all morning. Not in a bad way, though. I’m not throwing cups of coffee at the old lady that sits across the row from me at work, or cutting people off on the road. I’m not even snapping at people who deserve it. No, I’m just pissed on the inside. More of an “annoyed” feeling, than anything else. I know you’re reading these words and wondering to yourself “why is Shanshu pissed?” while you eagerly sit forward in your seat, awaiting the arrival of the sentence of explanation needed for you to relax your shoulder muscles and breathe normally again. I could tell you why I’m pissed at this very moment…but I think I might make you wait a minute or two. Then maybe you’ll be pissed off, too.

…

Ok, you know I can’t be a dick like that. See? I’m not pissed at the world, and I’m not taking out my frustration on others. I’m just stewing in my pot of crap and annoyance with the weather. That’s right, the fucking weather has caused me to get pissed. Something as simple and unchangeable as the stupid temperature has caused me to be in a bad mood on this holiest of work days, The Friday. I’ve tried to be in a good mood, but so far the closest I’ve come to being in a good mood is rubbing one off in the bathroom after I saw a hot cartoon chick giving interactive bunny. It’s really not going to get any better than that.

Midwest weather pisses me off. It’s only September, and already the air is chilled. This morning when I walked out to my car, I actually shivered. I took a deep breath, and saw a steam vapor rise out from within me…I could see my fucking breath, it was so chilly. Then I got to my car and noticed some FROST ON MY WINDSHIELD. I almost had an aneurism right there on the pavement…luckily my anger took over, and instead of allowing myself to succumb to the depression, I was able to redirect those negative emotions into “pissed off”.

It’s only September, and already I have to consider the possibility that it’s time to dust off the leather coat and start wearing jeans again. I just got back from the hot, sunny beach…and I’ve returned to the Midwest pre-winter show. Apparently, summer decided to take a vacation while I was gone, and surprise me with this winter ambush.

Fucking winter.

I hate winter, that’s no secret. I’m not one of those people who says “Oh, look at the snow! It’s so pretty!”. That is not my personality towards the matter. I’m more along the lines of “Oh, wonderful. It’s fucking snowing again. Well, the drive to work tomorrow is going to suck ass again.”. Nothing good comes from winter…everybody gets sick, everything dies, and the world is bleak and dark and cold.

@(#*&@&^%$ !!

Anyway, that’s why I have been pissed off all morning. I’ll be fine after lunch, though. I plan to go to the cafeteria and get some rice and veggies from the Asian counter and read my book and be content in my isolation. Tonight I plan on having a great time and staying indoors as much as possible, so as not to be reminded of the fact that summer is almost over.

Have a good weekend, everybody.

Upcoming posts:
-More detailed stories of sexual adventure at the beach
-Why Yahoo Launchcast Music sucks ass
-Girls on the blogger community who I think would rock in bed

Random List: Things OKI Has Taught Me

• The beach of Oak Island (OKI) faces South, not East as one might assume.
• As we gazed at a group of dolphins jumping the waves and being generally awe-inspiring, one of my buds informed us that dolphins attack more humans per year than sharks.
• Hot tubs with too much chlorine can change the color of your swim suit and make your skin stink like bleach.
• If you're going to make Pina Coladas, make sure to use a good mixer beforehand like Bacardi Mixers. Also, make sure to add enough ice.
• You can squeeze 6 people into a hot tub designed for 4 with enough patience, alcohol, and a willingness to accept the fact that some part of your body will come into contact with somebody else's genitals.
• Hurricane winds can offer up very good surfing waves.
• Unless you have a big towel, or don't mind bending over a lot...sex on the beach is NOT as exciting and fun as the stories imply. Reason: Sand. Gets. Everywhere. Even. Inside. Bodies.
• Blow jobs on the beach are completely acceptable and recommended.
• You can eat shrimp for seven days solid and not get tired of it.
• Houses built on stilts sometimes sway in the wind.
• If an ice cream stand looks shady...odds are, it is. Avoid it and head back home to make another Pina Colada.
• Jen likes to get spanked. Hard.
• Unlike almost every other game in existence, Yahtzee gets more boring the more drunk you get.
• Crabs are FAST little fuckers.
• It's hard to be in the ocean swimming, and feel something brush up against your leg, and not scream "Oh God, something touched me! Something touched me! Oh God!"
• Swimming naked in the ocean is fun.
• Swimming naked in the ocean with other people is more fun.
• Swimming naked in the ocean with other people who don't know you are naked is most fun.
• Starting drinking at 11:30am on the beach is a stupid idea. Seriously.
• Jen likes to be spanked by multiple people.
• When attempting to remove the glass blender bowl from the base, it is wise to ensure that the blender is NOT full of mixed frozen drinks.
• Remote controlled vibrators are the best invention ever. They make Yahtzee MUCH more entertaining; especially when the other people playing don't know what's going on under the table.
• Compared to the beach, the air everywhere else in the United States sucks ass.
• Having your genitals handled by 3 pairs of hands all at the same time while soaking in the hot tub is so cool, it should be illegal.
• I don't know if I believe the fact about dolphins attacking humans. That sounds made up to me.
• If you decide to go out to dinner at a nice seafood place...and you walk in and the place is decorated like a hunting lodge, complete with heads on the wall...RUN.
• "Automatically Added Gratuity" is the worst idea ever, and pretty much guarantees that you will receive horrible service.
• Group bunny on the beach is awful...group bunny in the hot tub is delicious.
• Drinking alcohol on an airplane messes you UP. I've been told it's the altitude, though I can't see how that makes logical sense.
• All girls like to be spanked while they're on vacation at the beach.

Beach Pics: As Promised

Oak Island

The view from my bedroom deck

The OKI pier

Dom gazes at the ocean

Sarah returns from the sand

Yes, sandcastles were built

The group bunny hot tub (covered)

John tending to his grill

Yes, games were played

Yes, seafood was eaten

Oak Island: Memories from a dreamer

Very few things in this world leave me speechless and awe-struck: a midget covered in Ranch dressing holding a sledgehammer, Swedish bikini models making out at a country bar while doing the electric slide, and the awesome peaceful power of the ocean. For whatever reason, when I travel to Oak Island and stand on the deck staring out over the beach at the blue oceanic waters beyond, I can’t help but feel humbled and calm. The kind of calm that comes post-coitus or from eating large quantities of chocolate. The kind of peaceful serenity that can only be described by sappy love poems and feminine freshness commercials. When I stare out at that ocean, I feel a peace wash over me that seems to quell the stress and corporate anger that stirs within.

Someday, I will live on that beach. Someday, I will stare out over the sand at that ocean, and breathe deep the calm and peace that Poseidon’s realm offers up to me. I will close my eyes and hear the soothing sounds of the waves crashing down against the shore and know that I am home.

Until then, I am forced to work in this corporate creativity mind-trap and drudge up ways to get myself out of this vicious circle of doom and despair. That, along with as much rum and group bunny as my body can take, should keep me sane until my inevitable move to beach bliss.


Ok, enough of that depressing stuff. Stay tuned for yet another edition of Shanshu’s Random Lists, which will be all about the Oak Island bunny beach bash and the sordid details of rum parties and hot tub nights. Tuck in the kids, grab your mug, and prepare for tales of sandy debauchery and orgasmic ocean outings!!

Post-Vacation Depression

You see this? This is my sad face. I know you can't really see my face right now, so I'll just tell you that I have my sad face on. I'm back from my beach vacation, and I'm not happy about it. In fact, I'm pretty pissed about it. The post-vacation depression has hit me hard, and I have a feeling this is going to be the worst Monday ever.

I have pictures to post, but I can't seem to find my USB cable so those will have to wait.

The beach was awesome, and everybody had a great time. There was sun. There was sand. There were dolphins and crabs and shrimp. There were drinks and Pina Coladas and rum. There was group bunny. There were sunburns and drinking games and boobies galore. There was fun and excitement and peace.

Alas, the trip is over. Reality has set back in. I'm back in corporate hell.

Sigh.

Anyway, hopefully sometime soon I'll be back to my usual self...for now, Shanshu is depressed. I just wanted to let my blogger buddies know that I'm back, and I'm safe, and I had a wonderful time. I'll post more details and pics later, I promise.

Bunny.


PS: I'd like to thank everybody who voted for me in the Best Comedic Blog category on the Order of Brilliant Bloggers. It was a nice surprise to come home to. I'll try to keep up the funny!

Goodbye, Corporate World...

...Hello beach vacation! The time has finally arrived. After months of planning and stress, along with a healthy dose of anticipation, the beach bash is here. The shadow of the corporate shroud of death that for so long covered my hopeless body has been lifted. The beach, sun, surf, and sand call to me. Oak Island, NC here I fucking come!!!

I will be gone for the next 10 days. I'll come back to reality on September 12th, and I won't be posting (most likely) until then. Please dry your eyes.

So, my faithful yet few readers...I say goodbye to you. I hope you take care of yourselfs, and know that I will miss you. I take my leave of you, for group bunny and shooters and seashells await me. I'll take lots of pictures, and I might even post a few, too. If you're lucky.

So farewell, farewell. I'll be thinking of you, while I stare out across the Atlantic sipping a frozen drink with a little umbrella in it.

We're one step closer to the Matrix...

So, artificial intelligence is getting better by the minute. Check out this new 20 Questions game, in which you play against the computer.

If you play by the rules, and your answers are logical and correct (ie; don't say that a rock is a "vegetable")...this AI will guess the correct answer a good percentage of the time. It's actually a little bit creepy, to be honest.

http://www.20q.net/index.html

Enjoy, and make sure that you don't let this thing get TOO smart! Oh, and don't forget to vote for me in the Best Comedic Blog category. Group bunny abounds.

Nominations and Lackluster Postings

My beach house calls to me...

Along the path of corporate servitude, many times we find ourselves in positions that do not facilitate the new transition paradigm of quality control within the business unit. If you actually thought that sentence made sense, then I feel for you...because you too are stuck in corporate America living the life of shame. They have brainwashed us to think and speak as they do. They are evil beings, with no soul and cold hearts. Do not be surprised if one day during a mangager meeting, they rip off their faces and there is a giant reptilian creature staring back at you, like that show V back in the 80’s. Your new snake manager will slither up to you, and make you analyze data on the upcoming spreadsheet for billing operations and conditions. Kill me now, oh snakey manager of pain!

Corporate life sucks, and this week my need to go against the will of The Man is increased, due to my inevitable and upcoming departure. I’m talking of course, about the Group Bunny Beach Bash, which is only 3 days away. At this point, my desire to do any productive work or to maintain my cover as a model employee has floated out the window, along with the hopes and dreams of my fellow coworkers. I can think of nothing except those golden sandy beaches, blue skies, and cold drinks. I picture the waves crashing against my legs as I take a stroll along the shore, breathing in the wonderful aroma of surf and fresh ocean air. I see myself lying on an extra large beach towel, well oiled and soaking up the sun’s rays like a piece of bacon on a sand skillet. I can almost feel the soothing water of the hot tub, soaking into my skin and relaxing me as I witness two chicks kissing in front of me.

The beach calls to me.

I close my eyes, and I can picture it. I can smell the hamburgers sizzling on the grill, and I can see the seagulls flying by. I can hear the laughter of children playing on the beach, and I can feel the tongue licking my nipple. If I concentrate hard enough, I begin to transport myself there…though only in spirit. I float through the air as a non-corporeal spirit, seeking the refuge of the holy beach land.

“WHERE IS THAT DATA? I NEED THAT SPREADSHEET FINISHED BY THIS FRIDAY SO I CAN SHOW IT TO THE VP!”

“Yes, sir Mr. Snakey I’ll have that for you by tomorrow, don’t worry. I’m on top of it, and I am following the new corporate guidelines for our new paradigm and business unit, Mr. Snakey. No need to get the whip, sir.”

He glares and slithers away, leaving me to rot in this cubicle of crap while filling out spreadsheets and pivot tables that don’t seem to really have any purpose, anyway. I hate it here. 3 days, and I make my escape. Anybody who wants to break out with me, meet me at the water cooler on Friday at 4:32pm. The password is OKI. Bring a friend, and make sure she’s hot.

Happy Hump Day!



PS: So Motherdear has informed me that I have been nominated for Best Comedic Blogsite by The Order of Brilliant Bloggers…I’m not sure if this is one of those “Who’s Who in American Students” scams, or if somebody out there actually thinks my blog is good enough to mention in a nomination. Either way, check out The Order of Brilliant Bloggers and put in a good word for me. Or vote for me…I’m not sure how the process works. Anyway, if you think my blog doesn’t suck, and if I have made you chuckle at least once before…then let others know of my comedic brilliance by casting a vote for me for Best Comedic Blogsite. If I win, I promise to put Coke in the drinking fountains, and an extra 15 minutes at recess. Vote for Pedro!

PPS: I don't think you can vote, yet. But keep an eye out for it! Remember, if I win: Group Bunny Blog party at my place!

Chiggers, Bunnies, and Cinnamon Cake

Last night, I had mom over for dinner to help celebrate her birthday. We produced some tasty food, including chicken enchiladas and taco rice. Don't ask me what Taco Rice is...it's a Lipton thing, I guess. But it was quite tasty, so I'm not going to dwell on the strange name very long. Mom enjoyed the food, and I enjoyed the Darth Vader gift bag I wrapped her presents in. It was effing cool.

After dinner we had the obligatory cake: cinnamon with vanilla icing. It was good, and we all enjoyed it. Then mom drops the load on me that she is going out of town tomorrow, and so she can't take the cake home with her because it will go bad. Aw, crap. That means that Jen and myself have 4 days to finish it, before we go out of town to the group bunny beach bash.

Crap. Cake is the last thing that we are going to want to eat, before the beach trip. Nobody wants the weight of a cinnamon cake hanging around their waists while they're lounging on the beach trying to look cool. As I tried to debate what to do with my sugary creation, Jen proposed that I bring said cake to the office, and leave it in the break room.

I punched her in the face for being stupid. Listen, the place I work is a corporate servitude hell that I would wish on no human being. It is a fortress of pain and misery, with clouds of doubt and boredom that not even the brightest light rays of hope can penetrate. It is doom. It is the end of all things. And so, I am not going to bring tasty sugar cake goodness into the midst of this darkness. Why should they eat cake? They ruined my life...I'm not going to reward them with dessert. These people make my life hell...I'm not going to feed them, for crissakes!! Besides, feeding this place will only help it grow stronger…and we definitely don’t want that.

So these corporate bunny bastards aren’t going to get a lick of my cake, no sir. I’d rather induce some sort of sugar coma to the dog next door, than to share my baking abilities with these mindless automatons.

OWNED!

I went to a Hawaii party cookout thing this weekend in Leavenworth, KS. Yes…the Federal prison. Yes, we drove by it. Yes, somebody was taking it in the butt that didn’t like it very much as we drove by. The party was a pretty good time, and I’m glad that we went. There was one part of it that sucked like nothing has ever sucked before, though: the fucking chiggers.

For those of you who don’t know what chiggers are, the best way to describe them is to say that they are very tiny mites that live in the grass that spend all of their time eating the flesh of humans. They bite. They bite and the bites itch and get red and swollen and they itch and they itch. They fucking itch. I’ve been scratching for 3 days solid, with no end in sight. My legs and feet look like some sort of middle ages plague. I itch and I scratch and I suffer. Stupid chiggers. The only funny part about this whole chigger situation, is the fact that my mom informed Jen and myself that chiggers actually burrow under the skin, which is what causes the itch. Jen freaked out and ran into the bedroom to find some sort of anti-chigger evacuation device, which included a knife and a match. We were able to talk her down from the roof, and I’m glad to say that the wonderful staff at the mental health “clinic” have informed me that she should be back on her feet in a matter of days. Great news. Even better news, is that the concept of chiggers burrowing in our flesh is NOT true, which means that I don’t have about 20 bugs crawling around my insides taking pictures.

If you’d like to know more about chiggers, please look here.


Since the bunny beach bash is so close, I am officially clocked out of this job. I really don’t feel the urge to do my work, and I feel even less likely to attend all of these meetings I have scheduled this week. Oak Island is only 4 days away and I’m going fucking nuts over here, waiting. Anyway, in honor of the group bunny beach bash, I thought I would share this with you:

Bunny Theatre: Pulp Fiction

Nothing quite as funny as cartoon bunnies reenacting a popular movie…in 30 seconds. If you don’t find this even mildly amusing, you’re dead inside.

Enjoy the rest of your day. I’ll be here scratching the top layer of skin off my feet with a cheese grater.

Car Accidents and Naughty Confessions

Ok, I know I promised you some car accident update blog posting crap today...but to be honest the whole thing has become a very annoying pin in my butt. I don't want to re-cap the past. I don't have any desire to cleanse my inner aura or share my feelings. The stupid bitch rear-ended me and then she tried to tell the police/insurance that it was MY fault. Then I went crazy with rage and spent the better part of my Friday on the phone. Now, I just want the whole silly afair to be over with and that means no posts about it. I'm fine, the car is fine (very small ding on the bumper) and the girl that hit me is a bunny bitch.

Moving on. I thought I would share a collected mass of random comments I've picked up recently from the Confessions site. I love to read stuff like this, because it lets me know that there are some wicked, screwed up people out there. Their pain makes me laugh.

Happy Monday. Oh, by the way: I didn't take the time to edit these people's confessions...so I'm sure there are grammar errors, spelling, punctuation, etc. So please ignore those and remember that it wasn't me wrote them. Enjoy.


People's Confessions:

"I hate old people. The way they dress, the way they think, the way they're coddled by the government. When old people complain about their lives to me, I want to kill them, because they get all the breaks and I can't make ends meet and am already 20k in debt just trying to put myself through a state university. Run by fucking old people."

"My boyfriend, my best friend, and I broke up a few months back. He wanted it more than I did. He's now dating this redheaded girl with one of the nicest bodies I've ever seen. She's sweet and nice and I'm cynical and suspicious of everyone. But everyone agrees that she must be the shallowest, most immature little girl they've ever met. He started dating her because he wanted a simple relationship, and he got one. But there are times, when we're all hanging out, I can joke and laugh all I want, and I'm just picturing sitting on her back, her hair wrapped around my fist, slamming her face into the pavement until it's a bloody, ruined mess. What's worse, I think I'm capable of it, too."

"My ex-fiance is now dating my what-used-to-be best friend. I know, it's sad... but she's fat, ugly and down right stupid. And I'm not. So I guess its okay. "

"People are always bringing in various chocolate and sugary treats to my office. I love sitting around, watching the fat ones getting fatter and knowing that I am better than they are because I resist."

"I hate everyone who fucked my girlfriend. Simple, isn't it? It's for pure jealousy that I get so angry that I could... but you may understand me. Don't you?"

"I love him, I want to tell him so bad. I have put on 24 pounds since we last met. I stil talk to him online but will never hint at the fact I want to see him again. I want to lose weight first, but I can't stop eating. I love him and he has no idea."

"I allow my friends to grow distant from me and act like it's their fault."

"My friend and I used to play "doctor doctor" when I was 9 and her, 11. She would undress me and stroke my private parts and tell me this is what doctors always do. We did it all the time when our parents were having our weekly christian prayer meetings at her parents place. The thing is, it actually felt good. So am I lesbian or not?"

"I dumped my oldest and best friend because he was brain-damaged from doing too many drugs. At least that's the excuse I used. The truth is I was embarrassed to have him for a friend because he was still a "hippie" and I felt I had moved on into a better, "professional" phase of my life. Since then I have fallen on hard times and there have been many times when I wished I had my old friend back - even though the drug problem might still deep-six the friendship. But I do miss the good times."

"I confess that a digital camera can add a whole new dimension to sex. My boyfriend and I have made movies of ourselves having sex, and I have made them of him as well masturbating for me or even just being naked on it for me. Thank you Sony!"

"If i like something I cannot stop until it is all gone. A whole BBQ chicken was my latest victim. I feel like a socially acceptable serial killer as i make my way through all things consumable."

"I ran away and i did not look after you because i wanted a chocolate bar. i ran all the way back though, i swear i did, but when you asked for some i just said no. you're too fat anyway, i felt sorry for you."

"I'm a writer. Here is my rough schedule: boot up computer. Check email. Look at porn sites. Check notproud.com. Check email. An hour later, do some work, about 1/2 hour's worth or even less. Eat. Check email. Check notproud.com. Look at porn sites, jerk off. Check email. Think about doing some work. Eat. Work out. Check email. Read newspaper. Check notproud. Com. Check email. Work. Eat. Check email. Look at porn sites, jerk off. Do some work. Check notproud.com. Check email. Make some phone calls. Chat in instant message with a stranger. Check email. Holy cow, it's 5 pm! Time to quit."

And my personal favorite:

"I once backed my father's car into my grandmother's car and left a HUGE crease in the side of my grandmother's car. The next day I pointed to the crease in my grandmother's car to my dad: "When did that happen?" I asked. My dad was so mad he took my grandmother's license away and she never drove again. I didn't really feel that bad, since she was always mean to me and her driving did suck. Oh, yeah, my dad gave me her car. Sweet."

WHY did you let me hit you from behind?!

So, on the way to work today I was violated. I was tagged in the ass, without the common decency of a reach-around. I was forced into a situation that I did not want to be in. Me and my car are now edgy and stressed…we were attacked.

It was raining. The roads were slick. The bitch was driving too fast. She was not in control of her vehicle. She came up on my rear bumper and tailgated me. She then slammed into me.

Whoa is me.

My chi is all sorts of fucked up. My car’s chi is all sorts of fucked up. My stress level is high, and my emotions are out of control: anger, sadness, confusion, anger, fear, annoyance. They run through me like the winds through the trees, like the water through the grass, like the burrito through the colon.

I have been rear-ended. My shoulders and neck hurt. My head hurts. My chi is fucked up.

I’m going home. I’m going to go home and drink some tea, read a book, and relax. I will be in control of my world again. I will control my emotions. I will not think about the bitch that hit me and I will most certainly not think about punching her in the face repeatedly until she loses consciousness and begs for mercy. I will calm. I will be at peace. I will not wonder what it’s like to take a human being and shove them into a lunch-box with a shoe horn.

I’m going home. I will tell you the story on Monday. I hope everybody has a good weekend, and forgive me for the cliffhanger. I just don’t have the energy right now.

Bunny.

Rambling Rough Rant, Ready?

• Ok, what the hell is up with the rain lately? It has been raining everyday for like 3 weeks, or something ridiculous. If I didn’t know better, I would say that God was flooding the world again, except this time he’s doing it REAL SLOW so as to torture us more.
• The shortest horror story ever was written by Frederic Brown in 1948 called Knock and it goes like this: “The last man on earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock at the door.”
• I leave for the group bunny beach bash in 8 days and my nipples get hard just thinking about it.
• People keep talking about Burger King's new brainstorm called Chicken Fries. Am I the only one who thinks this is lame?
• I miss Europe...I want to be back over there. The other night Ebeth was talking about moving to London and I was like "Don't tease me, you know I want to be back over there" and she was like "who's teasing? I'm serious, we should all go move there" and I squirted a little bit in my pants.
• I'm wearing my new shirt from Banana Republic and I actually like it. I don't have a picture to show you, so just use your imagination.
• Are we supposed to use punctuation in bulleted lists? I wonder if I should end these little mini-sentances with periods, or not
• Jen seems to think she made out with Darth Vader the other night. I'm not sure if she did, but now I've been having Princess Leia dreams like they are going out of style.
• The original Voltron team could kick the crap out of their remake bullshit counterparts, the Power Rangers. OWNED!
• Sometimes I wonder what some of the people in our little blog community look like naked. Then I wonder how many of them wonder that about me. Then I start thinking about online blog community group bunny parties. Then I have a soda.
• I had a crush on one of my teachers in high school, and I'm pretty sure I could nail her now, since she's like 45 years old and her defenses are down.
• I make fun of my mom for liking Patsy Cline, and I wonder if my kids will make fun of me for liking Aerosmith.
• Pizzle mentioned GI Joe in his most recent post and now the theme song from the cartoon is stuck in my head. Thanks a lot, dick.
• What happened to Dana Carvey?
• I've never once said the wrong name in bed, and sometimes I wonder what it would be like to do so. Rodeo Sex sounds fun.
• A Yuna and Lulu sex scene should have been included in FFX. It would have been famous.
• I haven't done any work yet today. I don't feel bad about it.
• Today's post is brought to you by the letter F
• Sometimes I want to start rumors about the people I blog with. You know, something innocent and fun like "Psst! I heard BOBI and Nameless have a thing going. Pass it on..."
• +10 nerd points if you know who Yuna and Lulu are.
• If my nipples get licked this weekend, I promise I will tell you about it.
• I've decided to start adding punctuation to these bulleted lists.
• Hey, Pizzle. Remember Airwolf? Remember how the theme song went? Are you humming it now? Yeah...paybacks are bitch. Take that, you fucker!

7 Things

So, I got tagged by Dirty Blonde to do this little quiz thingy. I usually like this kind of thing, but today I really like it, because I had no idea what I was going to post about today. This pretty much saved my butt, and saved the rest of you reading some dribble about Transformers being the superior cartoon heros of our generation. Enjoy.

Seven things I...

Plan to do before I die:
1- Go back to Europe and see the stuff I missed the first time
2- Swim with the dolphins
3- Drink a bottle of Dom Perignon
4- Get married/have kids
5- Own a house
6- Write a novel
7- Work a job I enjoy

Things I can do:
1- Speak Spanish
2- Get a checkmate in 4 moves
3- Use chopsticks
4- Have a photographic memory when it comes to movies and TV shows.
5- A Liberty
6- Safely use nunchakus
7- Play the violin

Things I can't do:
1- Listen to someone fold paper
2- Speak German
3- Calculate the square root of 374 in my head
4- Ride a motorcycle
5- Respect somebody who doesn't respect me
6- Grow taller
7- Forget the Alamo

Things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1- Breasts
2- Intelligence
3- Humor
4- Social and outgoing
5- Breasts
6- Long hair
7- Breasts

Things I say most:
1- "Dude, whatever"
2- "Groovy"
3- "Fuck off/fuck yourself"
4- "That is ri-fucking-diculous"
5- "Bloddy Hell"
6- "Gobbles"
7- "Group bunny"

Celebrity crushes:
1- Mira Sorvino
2- Morgan Webb
3- Sarah Michelle Gellar
4- Alyssa Milano
5- Michelle Pfeiffer
6- Jennifer Love Hewitt
7- Salma Hayek

People I want to take this quiz:
1-B.O.B.I.
2-Ebeth
3-Pizzle
4-Slayer
5-Rowan
6-Kiss Kay
7-Holly