Thursday, February 22, 2007

The Universe Thinks We Are Crazy

The universe is laughing at us.

Why? Because we are stupid. We are stupid, insecure, frightened monkeys with too much free time and not enough outlets for sexual tension and aggressive behavior. We constantly find new ways to torture ourselves because we are bored, and we come up with different ways to torture each other on a daily basis. Our favorite way to make life difficult for one another is the law.

We love to manipulate the law to our own liking. Anything that can remotely offend a person is illegal…or it’s going to be illegal…or it’s on its way to being illegal right now.

In fact, saying the word “obberpunkz” is probably illegal. I bet the police are coming to get me right now, so I’d better type fast.

Things have gotten so bad in this country in regards to laws and rules and litigious behavior, that people are afraid to take any action in any situation, for fear of doing something wrong. Why should I help that old lady cross the street? She might charge me with assault or something. See that burning building? There’s people inside burning to death. We should call the fire department and not do anything else to help because we might be charged with “invading a scene of danger” or criminal trespassing.

I joke. You laugh…but I’m not too far off the mark.

There are so many rules and so many different ways to manipulate a given situation, that is almost impossible to know with any degree of certainty what is acceptable, and what is not. If you had asked me yesterday if throwing a cup of ice (a paper cup, mind you) at a person would land me in jail for 2 years…I would tell you to go fuck yourself. There is no way that would happen.

How wrong I was.

Woman Sentanced to Two Years For Ice "Missle"

How can a person be sentenced to 2 years in a federal prison for tossing a cup of ice into somebody else’s car? That is a kind of crazy I didn’t know was possible in this world. It sounds like something out of a Nazi training manual.

“Nein! You vill not throw ze ice cup anymore! 2 years in ze prison camp. Schnell!”

Still don't see the crazy? So tell me this. When did this country become so afraid of its own shadow, that doing something such as attempting to help a rape victim is grounds for prison time?

Man Arrested After Mistaking Porn for Rape

Our laws have lost all common sense, and have become out of control.

Did you know, that if a man breaks into your house and tries to stab your children while they sleep…and you catch him in the act and break his arm…he can sue you? Did you also know that he actually has a good chance of winning said lawsuit? Is that justice? I call it insanity on an epic scale. When I hear stuff like that, I try to wake up from the nightmare that is called “real life” because it sucks.

God, the universe, and everything are looking at us and saying, “What a bunch of fucking retards down there. Seriously, check this out. Hey, Pluto! Quit pouting about that plant demotion crap, and get over here! Look at what these morons are doing now! Bring a camera.”

We have got to be the laughing stock of the cosmos, and deservedly so.

Use your common sense. Follow your heart. See the world for the crazy that it is.


Penny said...


Tell me how notifying the public that a convicted rapist/pedophile/murderer (who is known to be an "extreme high risk" for reoffending) is against the law...all because we're stepping on his human rights.

First of all: what about the rights of his victim(s) both past and future?

Second: People who do these types of things aren't human...therefore they do not qualify for human rights.


Shanshu said...

Amen to your Amen! I agree.

Steven Novak said...

Is Pluto STILL whining about that demotion!?!

I hate Pluto. ;)


MsLittlePea said...

I KNOW!!! I remember seeing on the news a couple years ago a video of a man who's 2nd floor apartment was on fire. His poor dog was stuck inside and you could see and hear him squealing at the blacony door. The man couldn't take it any more, climbed his balcony and saved his dog. He was arrested the next day for endangering the lives of the firemen-I couldn't believe it! No one was in any danger in that moment except for that dog and his owner, he made his own choice. I do believe in following rules and respecting the law but it's getting more and more ridiculous....

Anonymous said...

I think the important thing to remember is that we (supposedly) make the law. All of us. Whatever happened to just plain ol' common sense, talking to each other, and occasionally forgiving one another without getting Judge Judy involved? If a guy breaks into my house because he hears me screaming and thinks I'm in danger, yes, I'll be scared; yes, I'll probably politely ask him to pay for the door frame he just broke; but no, I will not press charges. How would that make my life any better? And you know, that situation probably wouldn't have happened if the two neighbors had actually taken time to talk to one another occasionally.

Think Frustrated said...

You forgot that we spend, literally, hundreds of millions of dollars a year prosecuting and jailing people who are arrested with small amounts of marijuana that is obviously intended for personal use. I sound like such a hippie (bro-seph), but it's true. All that money and all those stoners in federal prison for wanting to get high, eat Cheetos and watch cartoons.

Shanshu said...

littlepea: That is awful! See what I mean? The man saved his dog from a fiery death, and he gets arrested. LAME!

kitkat: Interesting points, and I agree if the neighbors had just known each other a little bit beforehand, I'm sure much of the situation would have been defused.

I think the guy who was watching porn was probably an asshole, if I had to pick a side without actually being there and knowing all the facts.

Shanshu said...

frustrated: Actually, I am completlely on board with this, too. I have always thought that marijuana laws and convictions are too harsh. I love the fact that a person can KILL another human and only serve 3 years in jail while a college fraternity guy can get up to 10 years for having pot in his room.

Where is the logic in that? Obviously the people writing the marijuana laws are doing coccaine.

Ookami Snow said...

I agree. My recent favorite are the 16 and 17 year old kids that had sex, which was legal in the state that they were in (Florida?), they video taped it, and then somebody found the video. They were both then charged with making child porn and each are on trial for making child porn of the other. I think they might even be tried as adults... how can you get more ironic?

It really is stupid.