Friday, August 17, 2007

Random Friday

I used to always do Random Friday posts. I didn't do them every Friday, mind you, because then they would cease to be come "random" and I would be forced to call them "Normal Friday posts" or something else equally lame. Since I am neither lame nor boring in bed I thought I would spew forth another random Friday post to keep our blood pumping hot for a few more hours until we leave work for the day.

-I tried a new concoction this morning for breakfast. Eggs and hash browns and leftover taco meat wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla with Velveeta cheese. As expected, it was beyond horrible.

-I have a friend who has a wife who drives me fucking batty. I swear, whenever she talks to me I'd rather light my own hair on fire and try putting it out by punching my own head.



-I was once with a girl who orgasmed 7 times in one sitting. She wasn't even getting paid.



-There was a cop following behind me this morning on the way to work. We reached a stoplight intersection and the people across from us were turning left and there was a mini-traffic jam blocking the way...yet people continued to turn. I was beyond annoyed that I was going to miss my turn on the green light...until the cop flipped on his lights, pointed at the cars that were blocking the intersection, and told them (through the use of hand movements and pointing) to get the fuck out of the way. They did. We went through the light. I was happy, and for the first time in a long time I was happy a cop was driving beside me.



-The best part of the movie Black Snake Moan is the fact that you get to see Christina Ricci naked.



-I enjoyed the final Harry Potter book. I still think the ending should have involved a threesome with Harry, Ron, and Hermione but oh well. I'm sure there's a porn out there somewhere that has done that already. It's probably called Harry Twatter or something.


-Nemo me impune lacessit


-Random movie quote: "I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!"


-I've had a digital camera for awhile now, and I have yet to take any dirty pictures with it.


-In case you missed it, here is a video of some of us partying. Please note Jen's drunkenness and be sure to rate the video so it will become famous and I'll make no money from it. And don't make fun of my ability to operate a camera while drunk.




-My South Park character, created by my friend Lindsey:





-When I was a kid we used to mix vanilla and sugar into our milk. We called it "Sugar Milk".


-If you have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, you have $1.19 This is the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.


-I hate, hate, HATE the sound of folding paper. Especially when people fold it between their fingers. FUCK I hate that sound. It makes my teeth itch.


-I was in Rome, Italy during one of the first snowfalls they had in years. Everybody there was excited. I was pissed, since I'm from the Midwest and snow doesn't impress me.


-I find cleavage sexier than naked.



-I had a root canal last week and it didn't even hurt. I don't know what the big deal is.


-Wii sports is the most fun you can have with your clothes on, period.




-This post took 57 minutes to create.

5 comments:

Michaela said...

This post is so offensive it's beyond funny

Shanshu said...

Offensive? Wow...didn't expect anybody to say that .

Sorry you were offended, it was nowhere near my intention.

Think Frustrated said...

I agree with the root canal thing. I have kind of a high pain tolerance, but, still, it was no big deal. I had to go in a few times to get the job done.

Crabby said...

Your friend must have the same wife Bob's friend has. Only I get stuck with her because I'm the female. Sucks to be me some times.

I'm reading Harry Potter now. Starting out with a bang and I love it.

The nintendo WII. (sigh) I want one sooooo bad.

Kay said...

Your random movie quote was only from the best fucking Chevy Chase movie ever. (ish. I like most of his movies.)

Christina Ricci looks pretty Fubusted in that pic. Is it even worth seeing her naked when she looks like that?

The friend's wife thing? I had a friend like that. I have no idea why people kept inviting her out with us. I finally told my buds that she was CutTheFuckOff and that if they were inviting her anywhere, I was so not going. annoying FuckBag.

I fucking love Random Friday. Good on ya for bringing it back.