Whoa! Look out! This post is *so* not linear!

• The radio in my car is really effing cool. It has a feature when you slow down the car, the volume lowers. It only does it when you're going fast (like on the highway) and then you stop, then you notice the volume lowers. It comes in handy. Today on the way to work I also noticed that it does a sort of "fade out" effect when you are using the "Scan" feature to surf through different radio stations. Way cool. If I could, I've give my car radio a cookie.
  



• I've started going to the gym in the mornings, instead of after work. So far I like it because after work I can go home and relax without feeling fat or lazy. It's also fun to show up to work peppy and fully awake. Although I've noticed that I have less energy and it's easier to get tired, so today I ate a hardboiled egg before I went to the gym and that seemed to solve the problem. I'm worried about this solution, though. I can't eat an egg every morning...I'll die of cholesterol by the time I'm 40. I need an alternate solution.
  
  


• Yesterday a friend and I were doing a quick 80's flashback. One of the things we brought up was old video games. Since I saw that Howard the Duck was on cable yesterday, that reminded me of the Howard the Duck video game I had for my Commodore 64 computer. I told her about it, and she actually found screenshots!! Bless her.






• OJ Simpson is retarded. He really needs to be watched closely in a room with padded walls and spend all of his time knitting blankets and eating the soft foods because he's fucking crazy.

• Did you know that the Dow Jones Industrial Average is not actually an average? That'll fuck with your head for about 10 seconds, I bet.




• Speaking of things I don't give too much of a shit about, my study group spent some time last night trying to figure out Standard Deviation for our Statistics class. The book we have is lame, and confusing. Finally I went online and found the answer and it was much easier. Apparently, my textbook for class is as cool as OJ.






• The girl on the treadmill next to me this morning ran for at least 36 minutes. After that, I did weights and saw her later on still going, only she was walking this time. She might have been on that damn thing for an hour, for all I know. It was very impressive.




• Here's another Far Side cartoon for your viewing pleasure:
  




• Why is it, when people say "It happened for the best" or "everything happens for a reason" it's always after something bad happens?

• This is officially the worst cartoon I've ever seen. Seriously, it made my head hurt. In fact...I have rage issues right now, I hate it so much:

• Who thinks OJ is crazy? Show of hands?
  

• A friend sent me this picture today, and I had to steal it and post it:

Random Friday

I used to always do Random Friday posts. I didn't do them every Friday, mind you, because then they would cease to be come "random" and I would be forced to call them "Normal Friday posts" or something else equally lame. Since I am neither lame nor boring in bed I thought I would spew forth another random Friday post to keep our blood pumping hot for a few more hours until we leave work for the day.

-I tried a new concoction this morning for breakfast. Eggs and hash browns and leftover taco meat wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla with Velveeta cheese. As expected, it was beyond horrible.

-I have a friend who has a wife who drives me fucking batty. I swear, whenever she talks to me I'd rather light my own hair on fire and try putting it out by punching my own head.

-I was once with a girl who orgasmed 7 times in one sitting. She wasn't even getting paid.

-There was a cop following behind me this morning on the way to work. We reached a stoplight intersection and the people across from us were turning left and there was a mini-traffic jam blocking the way...yet people continued to turn. I was beyond annoyed that I was going to miss my turn on the green light...until the cop flipped on his lights, pointed at the cars that were blocking the intersection, and told them (through the use of hand movements and pointing) to get the fuck out of the way. They did. We went through the light. I was happy, and for the first time in a long time I was happy a cop was driving beside me.

-The best part of the movie Black Snake Moan is the fact that you get to see Christina Ricci naked.

-I enjoyed the final Harry Potter book. I still think the ending should have involved a threesome with Harry, Ron, and Hermione but oh well. I'm sure there's a porn out there somewhere that has done that already. It's probably called Harry Twatter or something.

-Nemo me impune lacessit

-Random movie quote: "I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!"

-I've had a digital camera for awhile now, and I have yet to take any dirty pictures with it.

-In case you missed it, here is a video of some of us partying. Please note Jen's drunkenness and be sure to rate the video so it will become famous and I'll make no money from it. And don't make fun of my ability to operate a camera while drunk.

-My South Park character, created by my friend Lindsey:

-When I was a kid we used to mix vanilla and sugar into our milk. We called it "Sugar Milk".

-If you have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, you have $1.19 This is the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

-I hate, hate, HATE the sound of folding paper. Especially when people fold it between their fingers. FUCK I hate that sound. It makes my teeth itch.

-I was in Rome, Italy during one of the first snowfalls they had in years. Everybody there was excited. I was pissed, since I'm from the Midwest and snow doesn't impress me.

-I find cleavage sexier than naked.



-I had a root canal last week and it didn't even hurt. I don't know what the big deal is.

-Wii sports is the most fun you can have with your clothes on, period.

-This post took 57 minutes to create.