I'm back from vacation. I fucking hate being back here. I miss the beach.
We went to Oak Island, NC last week. We were there for seven fun-filled days of sunshiney joygasm at our oceanfront cottage held up by stilts. I assume that the stilts are supposed to help save the house in case the tide comes up too far, or a hurricane reaches too close to the shoreline. Perhaps they just found it cute.
Regardless, I am home now and NOT fucking happy about it.
Spending all that time on the beach is a great way to restore your emotional chi and convert all that stress into creative ways to drink and show various naked parts of your body as frequently as possible.
We had a blast.
The weather was awesome. The sun shone down on us almost everyday, and the wind kept a nice cool breeze from the ocean to ensure we never got too hot. The drinks were plenty and tasted good. Mine were usually blue drinks. I have no idea what was in them, but after 2 glasses I would start to get that fuzzy happy warm feeling in my nethers that inevitably led to semi-nakedness and a desire to munch on chips.
I got pinched by a crab. The little fucker nailed me while I was sitting in the surf enjoying myself. I bled and cursed and now I have two puncture marks on my hand. We went out that night and hunted for crabs to get my revenge on.
We found a few that night, but the little fuckers are fast. Alas, vengeance was not mine.
Jen got stung by a jellyfish. We're not sure about this, but it seems likely. We did NOT try to hunt down any more for the sake of revenge. We decided to be monk-like and take the higher road...which means we were scared to get back in the water for a few hours.
We all drank. A lot. Did I mention that?
We took 188 pictures of the beach and ourselves and our house and the airport and a whole bunch of other things that sound more boring than they actually were.
Speaking of airports, have you ever been to the Wilmington, NC airport (ILM)? It's like the airport on the show Wings. I mean, there were fucking rocking chairs in there, instead of normal chairs.
Effing rocking chairs, yo.
I have pictures. I will share some of them when I get home and have access to them. Right now I'm at stupid work and I hate it and have no access to pictures or happiness.
I miss the beach. Work sucks. I have P.O.D. (Post Oak-Island Depression)