Friday, October 19, 2007

Ask Shanshu: Today's Music

Why is it that today's singers almost always sound like shit in real life? I just listened to Rhianna live on TV, and she can't even carry a tune.
-Annoyed With Today’s Music

Dear Annoyed,

Popular music is changing. Most performers today are products of synthesizers, acoustic technology, bass, trim, audio's more digital than anything else. They are simply whored-out performers now; manufactured automatons created by the record industry and studios like Disney in order to maximize profits and increase shareholder wealth. They are created for, and paid to, entertain. Very few have any actual talent. The same thing can be said for that hooker on the corner.

Look at people like Paris fucking Hilton. Her song was actually on the charts for a bit. Is she a musical talent? Hell no. Does she come across to you as a musical prodigy? No, she can't even spell that. So why was her song popular, even for thirty seconds? The answer is, her "music", along with her "acting" and her smelly “perfume” foulness, was manufactured in a lab...nothing more.

The same can be said for Lindsey boobage Lohan. Her “song” was nothing more than backbeats, sound effects, and audio backup. Remember when she got caught lip syncing? Ask her to sing you “Happy Birthday” and you’ll end up ripping your own ears off to avoid the shrill shrieks that emanate from her throat. Quite frankly, I am not interested in what’s coming out of her throat, rather than what’s going into it.

Studios can make anybody sound good, with the right equipment and editing. Most of the time when we hear these performers in real life, we are shocked at how lame they really are without a studio and 116 takes to get it perfect.

Most music today is lame, in that regard. There are some performers who I feel are very talented, and I enjoy listening to them. Most of time though, it’s nothing more than a load of audio smoke and mirrors to cover up a blatant lack of talent in an attempt to make more money for the studios and the entertainment producers.

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Kay said...

Don't sugar-coat it now...
I do have to admit that you're right. Will it stop me from buying the next secret guilty pleasure of a song one of the army of skanks puts out? Probably not. But I will feel more guilty about it.

Ookami Snow said...

Geez, I feel bad, I just basically reposted your article on my blog... Even using Paris Hilton as an example.

Anonymous said...

Didn't Paris Hilton actually admit or it was revealed that she did not even sing that song and that she did write it. Not saying that every song out today was written by the artist. But she basically paid some girl to come sing and she put her name on the material.

Shanshu said...

kay: only you can prevent forest fires. And by "forest" I mean "buying crappy music" and by "fires" I mean "again".

ookami: I like flattery. It suits me.

kryptonite: I had heard that, too. I effing hope it's true. Just proves my point, even more.

Callie said...

If they can make anybody sound good, then I want to release a song. If they can make me sound good, then they deserve TONS of money for it.


Think Frustrated said...

I agree. There are a few exceptions. My wife is really into the Dave Matthews Band, and, while they aren't particularly my favorite band, they do sound almost exactly the same live. There are others, too, but most of the pop music we hear today is just poop with a pink bow on it.