Tuesday, May 15, 2007

232 Posts

Holy fucking shit. I've done 232 posts including this one! I'm not sure what that means, other than I have more free time than I should. Hmm. I should get more hobbies. I only have three right now, but I think I could get more if I just put some effort into it.

Wait...effort? Screw that. I'd rather surf porn.

Speaking of porn. I heard a guy the other day refer to it as "porno". I know that term was highly utilized back in the 70's and 80's but I thought it had died out like Anna Nicole Smith. Ohhhhhhh was that too soon? I'm sorry.

Wait, no I'm not. It's not an insult to say a dead person is dead...is it? Whatever, I'm over it.

Anyway, the word "porno" seems a little too retro for my taste. It actually made it feel dirtier to me. Tell me that isn't fucked up. The fact that when a person says "porn" I think it's ok and sexy and fun and completely innocent. But if they mention porno I think about hairy people and dirty things. Not good dirty...you know, the icky dirty. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

I'm not sure why. It's kinda like saying "panties". For some reason, that word doesn't sit well with me. I'm not saying I think it's a bad word, or gross or anything. I just don't use it and it sounds alien to me when somebody else does.

Seriously, I have no idea why.

So basically if you were to say to me, "I was watching this porno last night and the star had on these yellow panties that made me so hot" I would probably walk away from you and if you didn't read this blog you would have no understanding as to why I just ditched you.


Confused


Am I alone in this? Does anybody else have any words that make them feel icky inside? Porno, panties, feminine juices, discharge, bleeding anus...these words and phrases just don't make me feel happy. I actually cringed when I typed them.

Strange.

At least I'm not wary of normal words. Can you imagine the poor bastard who was icky around the word "the" ??? What a horrible life that would be. His emails would be so hard to read because he'd have to leave out all of the "the" words:

Dear Mike,

I was reading new proposal, and it looks great. only thing I would change would be font. I think that font could be a little bigger and reason for this is words are hard to read. Don't forget meeting we have tomorrow about party on Friday.

Jim


It would be pretty funny, though. Especially if you worked with the guy, and knew his problem. I would so fuck with him on a weekly basis. I'm not sure HOW I would fuck with him, but I'm sure I'd think of something.

3 comments:

Arlene said...

Big ass THE on a sticky note on his monitor when he came back from lunch! Yeah, I could have fun with that one!
And you, with your pantie porno phobia. WTF? Does your fiance know about this hang up? Just checkin.

Anonymous said...

That email just sounds like it was written like a foreign person.

I don't like the phrase "tear in the anal wall." I've never heard anyone say it, but if someone was referring to a "tear in my anal wall," I'd imagine life was not going too good.

Kay said...

I dislike the words "panties," and "moist," but "trousers" don't sit too well with me either.