Thursday, December 22, 2005

MS Outlook 2003 Can Suck Me

While my current political affiliation remains a mystery, there are other areas of my life which I can accurately describe as being super-conservative. One of these areas would be the idea of change. Specifically, the idea of changes to things that I use on a daily basis, like my computer setup and workstation. Now, I’m not afraid of change…I like things to be different and better and more shiny. I do not like changing something that isn’t broken, however. I find that to be simply annoying. Especially when the new version is crappy.

Take my 2002 MS Outlook software at work. It was working fine, and I had it the way I wanted it, and everything was right with the world. Then the fucking Sprint IT guys decided that they wanted me to have MS Outlook 2003. You would think that this wouldn’t be such a big deal, but dammit the programs are as different as black and fuck.

Those crafty IT guys snuck in late last night and installed the new software without my knowledge. I came into work today and booted up my computer only to find that my Outlook taskbar shortcut button had vanished. While cramming that strangeness back away into the “why the fuck did that happen?” portion of my brain, I created a new shortcut button and tried to move on with my life.

Hell no, it wouldn’t be that easy.

There were pop-ups and messages boxes and requests for information. There was a new setup box and configuration settings to deal with, and it even asked me for my name. Here’s my name, MS Outlook 2003: Fuck off. That’s my name. Now go away, and leave me alone.

After the initial setup was complete, I began to browse through my new software, only to be disappointed everywhere I went. New colors and stupid buttons that I don’t need and preview panes and strange boxes and folders in the wrong places….bloody hell, it was chaos in there. I shook my fists at the IT guys and began the process of changing everything back to the way I like it. This process took ten minutes away from my life, that I will never get back.

Even now, I’m not happy with it. The colors are all lame and the shortcut button is screwy. They even put in a second button over near the time section of my desktop, and I can’t make it go away. So now, just in case I’m too stupid to push the regular shortcut button…I have a 2nd one as a backup. Terrific.

That’s what they do sometimes, you know. They change their software because they seem to think that we are all getting dumber while they are getting smarter. They think we can’t find our Calendar by ourselves, so they decide we need a huge fucking button for it that pops up every 5 minutes in case we want to look at it. They assume that we like to have a blaring, huge font title over EACH SEPARATE EMAIL telling us when we received it (“THIS EMAIL IS FROM 1 WEEK AGO” or “THIS EMAIL IS FROM YESTERDAY”) because we are too retarded to look at the Time/Date Stamp that’s always been there.

People…I get a shadow box that pops up now, whenever I get a new email. It pops up and gives me a mini-view of the new email, and then it slowly fades away into nothingness. This box is set to be “always on top” and so far I can’t figure out how to change it (that was not an invitation for you to tell me how in the comments…I will figure it out on my own.) so for now it keeps happening every five minutes when I get a new email. It’s happened twice since I started writing this.

This new Outlook is fucking up my Chi. My Chi is all wrong.

I hate it.


HizzleThizzle said...

Poor baby

Shanshu said...

I know! Feel my pain! I need a nap.

DaMasta said...

Aw, damn! That fuggin sucks. I hate the IT guys with a vengence. They don't let me take pointless quizes or look at pictures on the internet. How rude, I say while shaking MY fists.

"different as black and fuck"
You crack me up.

Think Frustrated said...

If your IT guys had any brains at all, they would change all your shit to Mac. You would love it because they cut all the bullshit out and assume that you have a fucking brain.

Pizzle said...

We had the same upgrade. It may be annoying, but you'll get used to it.

I've decided to make nice with my IT guy. He won't fuck anything up that I've messed with, without my prior knowledge and consent, and I won't do anything to my computer that causes me to call him in a fit of tears and say, "I don't know what I did, but now my computer is sticking its tongue out at me."

So far, so good.

musie said...

I thought my computer was "Dumbed down" but I am currently using my dad's and it has aol. They make it so a person of 100 can use it- bright shiney icons, step by step instructions on how to browse the web, and slow as fuck.

Rowan said...

...and then you get a new o/s (like I have received at work) where you can no longer change the time, cause you are not the administrator and you may be wrecking havoc on your machine by doing something so volatile as adjusting the date.