Friday, July 13, 2007

Vent Session

You know what really bugs me? Besides people who don’t update their blog on a regular basis? (sheepish grin)

What really bugs me are people who don’t appreciate the time and effort I put into my emails and other correspondence to them. I will spend five to ten minutes making an email perfect. I’ll add colors and Italicize certain words and add bold font to make works pop out.

I even break out the paragraphs and interesting points from the main body of the email, to help them stand out so the reader can get the idea faster.

I care. I work hard to make my emails fun to read, and informative at the same time. I want them to read the email and say to themselves “Wow….he really cares about me and our new ERP project design team.”

Do you know what I get in return, most of the time?

Fucking nothing.

No reply email or response of any kind. And when I do get a reply back, it’s usually quick and has misspelled words and doesn’t even answer any of the questions I posted in the original email. It will only answer the LAST question asked, and so I am forced to reply back to the them and say “Did you read the whole email? I put EVERYTHING you need in there. The last sentence is NOT the most important part, you know!”

And then they don’t reply…again.

Fuck.

Fucking reply to emails that people send you. They take the time to include you in their life and they take the time to send you shit…so the LEAST you can do is take one fucking gorram minute out your busy fucking life to reply to the fucking email.

How hard is it to reply to an email? Control + R is the shortcut key, if you’re too retarded to use the mouse. I know, I know….you’re afraid of keyboard shortcuts because you still think you can “crash your hard drive” with a simple accidental keystroke because you’ve seen too many movies. Well then, don’t use keystrokes. Click the “Reply” button at the top after you’re done reading the email.

It’s not hard. I promise. Give it a try.

Did you know that every time you choose NOT to reply to an email, a puppy gets molested? It’s true. I sent you an email about it last week, but you chose to NOT read it or reply to it, so Scraps is now being fondled in his little puppy butthole right now.

Good job.

4 comments:

Kay said...

So, this is me replying to your post. I'm going to answer every question you asked, so that I know I'm not contributing to the molestation of any innocent puppies. Ready, Set, Go:

Q1) I think smelly shit probably bugs you very much. It's quite the problem you know.

Q2) Oh, the updating of blogs, that's also a big problem. I'm still going with the feces odor though.

Damn, I missed that one by a long shot. My bad.

Q3) I think most of the time, your well thought out emails are probably returned by a friendly hug or slap on the ass at the company water cooler.

Wrong again...

Q4) I personally read all emails. Even the disclaimer at the bottom, right below people's gay-ass signature blocs, that I also read. Then when I reply I change some things in their signature blog, just to see if they notice. They usually don't. Even when you change the color and highlight it.

Q5) It can sometimes be quite time consuming to reply to an email. If I'm short on time I'll just read it, then flag it so I'll remember to reply later. Or I'll talk to the person in person if I see them before I have a chance to reply to the email.

Q6) I did not know a puppy would get molested; that's why I'm taking the safe route and replying to this, even though it's not an email.

Shanshu said...

ROFL

That is the best comment I've ever received! You totally get a gold star and group bunny coupon!

You rock.

Think Frustrated said...

So you have a job again now?

I learned to make emails two or three sentences, and not cover more than one topic at a time becuase people are stupid. They'll answer one question that you asked and ignore the rest. I just send out multiple emails now, due to the retard-ivity of the staff at my company. Then, I try to always forget the attachment. :)

JahFreedom64 said...

Damn you... I used to reply to most e-mails, but now I know there is a dog in pain if I don't......no more replies.
But, then again, my typical reply to "Do you like dogs?" is "Just roasted with a little BBQ sauce please."