Monday, July 16, 2007

Rollercoaster of Love

I went to our local fun park this weekend. Theme park, fun park, amusement park...whatever your local dialect chooses to call it. Ours is called Worlds of Fun.

My favorite is still Six Flags, but that doesn't really matter to the post.

We took Jen's cousin Sean who is in town from Ireland. He had never ridden a roller coaster before. We decided we had to let him experience one while he was in town.

We were bad, mean people. We...might have told him that people sometimes die but that "it doesn't happen every month, like it used to".

SHAME on us. We are wicked.

While we were in line at a coaster we had said earlier was the "baby coaster", we informed him that it was actually the fastest one the park had, and he absolutely, positively, could not chicken out, or we would make fun of him.

I'm not sure WHY we did this. It seemed funny to us, at the time. The more pale he got as our turn to ride grew closer, the more guilty we felt. We ended up telling him the truth, that the ride was 100% safe and that it wasn't all that bad.

He didn't believe us.

He got on, anyway. On the way up the first hill, I turned around to see how he was doing. He yelled at me to turn back around so he could concentrate, or something. I heard him cussing us out as we neared the top of the very large hill to start the coaster. I think if there had been a way for his little Irish ass to jump off at this point without getting in trouble or hurt, he would have.

As we crested the hill, I think I actually heard his heart stop. Did I mention we made him sit in the front car? I didn't? Oh.....well, we did. He was in the back part of the front car with us.

Holy shit. Poor kid. Here's what he experienced:

After that was over...he wanted to go again. Whew.

HA! USA rules again! We make the best ways to scare the shit out you, and charge your for it. All are welcome.

I wonder if a cat would enjoy a roller coaster? Could you make them see from the front, like we do? Would they have a little cat embolism or something? Hmmmm.


Kay said...

I think that if the cat did enjoy the roller coaster, they'd never admit it. They're evil like that.

That's a hilarious what you did to the Irish cousin. It's just good, clean, American fun to fuck with someone's head. And look how great it worked out for him...

Think Frustrated said...

You failed to mention to him that, on occassion, people lose their feet, and then can only have one reattached, but win a huge settlement from the amusement park, thereby making them filthy rich, and only a little lopsided.

Shanshu said...

Yes, I DID forget to mention the feet thing. I thought it best to avoid that part of the story to him. He was plenty nervous, already.