Monday, June 18, 2007


I believe in tipping. It’s like gravity. They say it’s only a theory, and some people don’t believe in it…but I do. I know it exists. I think tipping is important, and you will always get money out of me, as long as I think you are making an effort to cater to my various needs.

A quick rundown on what I think about tipping, in general:

If you do a bad job, you’ll get 10%.
If you do a good job, you’ll get 15%
If you do a great job, you’ll get 20%
If you show me your boobs, you’ll get 35%
If you show me your boobs but forget to bring me a refill on my Coke Zero, you’ll get 30%

That’s how it works.

Some people are bad tippers. Some people are good about it. Some people are just trashy about it, to the point of being whisky tango.

Jen has a friend who is a bad tipper. She has this theory that she doesn’t have to tip as much as she should when she is out to dinner with a group of people. Her crazy logic revolves around the fact that she believes that if you have a group of four people, and each one of you has a dinner bill of around $50 each…then she only has to put down $4.00 to the “tip pot”.

Four fucking dollars.

Upon being questioned about this, she replies with “Well since everybody else is putting in more money, then I don’t have to put in as much and the tip should still be bigger than if I was alone.”

Or some such shit.

I’m not sure what’s going on in her head, except cheapness and rudeness and a general lack of class and social understanding. Even if you are a moron and hate tipping, you know that 10% is standard, and you should never go below that unless you REALLY hate your service. Other than that, there is no reason to tip less than 10%.


It’s so tacky, it makes my butt itch.

Granted, this is the same girl who put on her wedding invitations: “Instead of wedding gifts, please send money so I can have a bigger honeymoon.”

I shit you not. The girl asked for money on her wedding invitations. It was so horrible I almost died when I read it. So it doesn’t surprise me that she tips less than 10%...I just find it horrible and worth mentioning here.

Four fucking dollars.


Think Frustrated said...

This is my exact tipping methodology. I never go below 10%, even if they spit in my food in front of me. I once had a waitress who was terrible beyond belief (kind of threw my plate in front of me and said, "Here."). I tipped her $10 on a $20 bill, and wrote her a note on the receipt that the $10 was to buy resume paper and get a new job.

Shanshu said...

Lol that is awesome! I like it.

Callie said...

That's a FANTASTIC idea! I'm going to have to use that one.

I always tip at the very least 15%. I've been the waitress, and the job sucks. I do it mainly because I pity them.

Oh, and I used to work with someone like Jen's friend. I despised her when we'd do group lunches. If she left anything, it was a dollar. More often than not, she wouldn't leave anything.

So glad she doesn't work here anymore.

MsLittlePea said...

I always tip 20% even if I had lousy service because I used to work in a restaurant and it's such a thankless job. I figure if my waiter wasn't that good it's probably because the person he served before me was a rude asshole who tipped badly too. Maybe then my waiter has lost all faith in humanity and doesn't care anymore--I can't let that happen so I leave a big tip :o)
People who tip well always get good service as return customers as well.

Arlene said...

Holy shit, can you say trash, seriously? I mean, I typically don't talk shit about people I don't know, but $4 and please send money???? Just wrong!
I'll double the tax, which here is between 7-8% depending on what town you're in, no matter what, even if the service is crappy. And it goes up from there depending on how demanding I was and how attentive they were. I despise crappy tippers, having been a server myself!!

Penny said...

If the wedding hasn't passed, I think you should give her about $40 as a wedding gift and say, "Well, since everyone else is giving you money, too, I figured I could give you less and you'd still get more than if I was the only one giving you money as a gift."

Maybe it'd teach her a lesson?