Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Blog Surfing

I like to surf.

No, I’m not referring to the subtle science and exact art that is gliding on water while standing precariously on a wooden board coated in wax while fighting off fish that bite. I refer simply to the act of quickly changing visual stimuli in rapid succession with no immediate goal in mind. An example of this is channel surfing. I enjoy to lazily sit on the couch while clicking through the channels in an effort to find something to watch to occupy my time. Trouble is, sometimes I find that I am having more fun simply watching the random images that flash by on the screen, than I do when watching an entire program.

So sometimes I find myself mindlessly channel surfing, while somehow keeping my mind focused enough to actually determine what is going on in each brief television flash. It’s almost as if my brain can press together the seconds I spend staring at the channel and come up with a conclusion about what we are seeing. So it almost feels like I’m watching 65 stations at the same time. Good brain workout, I think. Or maybe it’s making me stupid. Either way, I think it’s fun every now and then.

I do this with other forms of stimuli, other than the television. Today, I did this with other blogs. Yep, Blog Surfing. I bet you didn't see that coming, did you? Unless you read the title, of course. You know that button at the top right of your Blogger page that says “Next Blog”? Well sometimes I click on that button and check out the blogs that pop up. I never spend time actually reading them for very long...I just glimpse at them quickly to get an idea about them, and see if my subconscious brain is able to determine if it is a blog I would enjoy on a regular basis. Most of the time, my brain just makes shit up.

Here are today’s results, in order:
This blog seems to be a religious blog. At first glance, it seemed like a cult website or something. I didn’t read further (because that would defeat the purpose of blog-surfing) to see if it was a legit blog or a freaky cult one, so for now I’m sticking with my cult idea because it is more fun. Besides, it doesn’t matter anyway.
For shame, cultists! Don’t drink the punch! It’s laced with rat poison! No enlightenment through body mortification for you! Read a book.
This seems to just be a blog about pictures. I scanned through them briefly. Seemed very dark and morbid and sad, to me. Then I noticed that the words weren’t in English. My God! It’s some sort of crazy alien blog! They take pictures of random buildings and nature in order to study our…habits of……having feelings…towards…parks. Yeah, maybe it’s just a guy who takes a lot of pictures.
Wow. This person talks a LOT. They must like to talk as much as they like the letter V. The posts are Very long and haVe a nice ramble feel to them. I hate the black background because it makes me feel like I’m being sucked into some sort of blog abyss with no escape. At least the posts are very long and that is good. Vroom.
Ew, a sports blog. These things bore the ever-loving shit out of me. I won't knock them, but at the same time I’m not sure what they ever have to offer that ESPN or Sports Illustrated wouldn’t have. And no pictures. Blah. I’d rather read about cults again.
Oh, my lord. It’s a blog with nothing but links to somebody else’s articles. So this is like…a blog article routing station. Actually I noticed that all of the links are supposed to be mp3’s but I haven’t heard crap, even after I clicked on a link. Then I noticed a link called “Scraping the Paint Off Jesus” and I stopped to chuckle. I’m not even going to try and figure out what that means. It’s funnier when I don’t.
Sweet, a Spanish blog! Lucky for me I speak Spanish. It’s not very interesting even after you translate it, though. I like the dragon. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Me llamo draco de muerte!
Ok, seriously. What the fuck is going on? Why are there so many damn religious blogs out there? This is 3 so far, today. Unless the Spanish one was religious, too. Then it’s FOUR. I guess many people with faith now like to share that faith with the rest of the universe. Yay me. Totally fucks up my blog-surfing chi.

This is when I stopped blog-surfing. One of these days I’m hoping to come across a porn blog or something really interesting like that, to keep my attention for more than five seconds. Until then, I guess it’s nothing more than religious sites and baseball statistics. W00t.

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