My Left Foot

Sorry for not posting for a few days, but I have been out of the office. I don't post here at home (since I don't have a computer) and I wasn't in the office yesterday. Why was I not in the office, you may ask? Well, I'll tell you. After a great weekend at the lake, I was settled in for my 4 hour drive home and back to reality. On the way, I kicked up under the front seat to make more room for myself, and I caught my toe on a rather sharp piece of metal. It didn't like being kicked, and so it ripped my toe open, and took some of the nail with it. Piece of metal: 1 Eric: 0

ARRRRGH!

I have never bled so much, or been in such acute pain before, in my life. I thought I was going to die, sitting in the back seat, clutching my left foot like a crazy person. Jen and Erin turned to see why I was screaming like a little girl...saw my foot...and proceeded to freak out. Erin actually turned her head away and put her hand over her mouth, and fought the urge to vomit. John pulled the car over as fast as he could, while he and Jen took turns panicking and yelling over my anguished screams of pain and misery.

What should we do? What should we do? They kept saying to themselves, as they rushed to grab towels and soak up the steady flow of crimson liquid erupting from Mt. Saint BigToe. They may have been at a loss, but I knew what I was going to do: scream my fucking head off, until the pain subsided, and I could once again form coherent thoughts.

During John and Jen's panic attack, I tried my best to slow my breathing. Calm down. Breathe. Try to relax. I kept telling myself these things, over and over again. It wasn't fucking working, though because the pain only seemed to be getting worse! Eventually, the pain went down and I was able to start talking and thinking again, like a real boy.

We found a first aid station, and got me some bandages and anti-infection gel, and patched me up. We couldn't get a hold of any medical tape, so we were forced to use...duct tape. Yes, I said duct tape. I was so WT, it was scary. Luckily, I fit in with all of the other people vacationing at the Ozarks, so it was all good.

Anyway, we managed to get back home safely, and without further incident. I didn't come into work yesterday, because I was limping around high on pain killers and just not in the mood to sit at a desk for 8 hours. So that is my story, and that is why I have not posted a new blog entry for awhile.

I know this post sucked, but I don't care. I just wanted to inform those of you who care, about my injury. As I sit here, with my foot bandaged up like a mummy...I write for YOU.

Send me waves of sympathy and support, because this is going to be the longest day at work, I've ever had.